Tell me what is going on
by AimeeMcGee
Summary: McGee is coming to NCIS but something is definitely going wrong. He barely speaks, thinks...as if he was completely in a state of shock. Disclaimer : I do not own NCIS. The characters belong to D. P. B, and I make no money off this. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

Timothy McGee crossed the Navy Yard without a glance at anyone, only walking at a reasonable pace, fog inside his brain naturally getting rid of any thoughts, just walking.

Tony took a look at him from the car park where he had just arrived, taking off his sunglasses and opening his mouth in order to say something, but Tim simply kept on walking to the entrance of the NCIS, not looking, nor answering to the bodyguard's greeting…

If there was no official need to say anything in return, the man was used to McGee's famous politeness, and not hearing a sound back seemed to surprise him a bit.

Anyway, today was a beautiful day, and if he hadn't heard anything from Timothy, he could swear that he would endure Agent Dinozzo's good singing mood, and probably another stupid quote of another stupid movie.

Tony stayed still a minute where he was, slowly tapping the top of its vehicle, before Ziva's catastrophic car parked in the empty space next to his.

— What's up, Tony, she asked with a smile as she violently opened the door.

The agent almost ran to her and stared immediately at his car, his face mixed with anguish.

— _Damn it_ , David, if you touch and hurt that beauty you'll have to pay me back for sure…

— Come one, Tony, you already have a new girlfriend ? I thought you were having a break.

— _Very funny…_ he grinned, double-checking the one he'd just called his beauty.

— Why are you here, Tony ?

— Uh…work ?

Ziva squinted her eyes as if she wanted to kill him and begun speaking again.

— You usually don't like mornings, and now you're even here before me.

— I guess I have some blessed days…

— Yeah, she chuckled, _right_. In fact, she added, I'd even say that you look…happy today.

Tony put on his sunglasses again and revealed a bright smile he always loved to show.

— « This part of my life…this part right here. This is called happiness ».

Ziva chuckled another time and started walking to the building, looking awkwardly at Tony.

— Look a you, Dinozzo…a real poet.

— All Dinozzos are…Tony said as he furrowed his brows, but this is from a movie, David.

— _Really_ , Ziva smiled and kept walking, not surprised by the revelation.

— Yes, _really_. _The Pursuit of Happiness_ , 2006…Gabriele Muccino…director of _Seven Pounds…_ Damn it, and you pretend you're American…

— Muccino doesn't sound American at all.

— Will Smith is American.

— _Good morning Adam…_ she smiled before entering the building, the man greeting her back, his face changing as Tony appeared behind her. He, as expected, put his palm onto the man's shoulder and begun teasing him.

— _Adam, Adam, Adam…what a beautiful day, isn't it ? Beware of sunburns, though, don't forget to hydrate and wear a cap…_

Ziva chuckled and called his name emotionlessly, saving the bodyguard from this useless moment, perfectly picturing again the bright smile and excessive good mood style so proper to Tony.

 _In the meantime…_

— Good morning, a woman smiled.

— Morning, Timothy answered, probably forced by the fact that he was stuck inside an elevator.

But he didn't mean it. In fact, he didn't mean any of his words.

The silver cage hopefully didn't open for additional employees anymore and he just let the woman go away when she finally reached her level, and he then stayed alone for a few seconds, maybe a minute…still lost and prisoner of his brain's invisible fog.

 _Ding…_

He went out of the elevator and walked directly to his desk, as if an automaton had taken control of his own body and muscles, directing him from directions to other directions with no emotion.

His brain was so heavy…and so light…and his eyes seemed to weigh so much…and finally not at all… There was no word to describe what he was feeling at all, no right word to find in the middle, no word to explain…

His eyes had been and still were lost behind a blurry filter of nothing, and all he knew was that he had to go to his workplace and sit…where he belonged.


	2. Chapter 2

— …morning McGeek, Tony said as he entered the bullpen with Ziva, Tim strangely staring at his screen.

— Good morning McGee, Ziva smiled first, her smile finally fading away as she received no reaction from her colleague. McGee ?

She could see that Tony was about to make a joke, but maybe he had understood that something was wrong, because his previous teasing face suddenly transformed into something worrier.

— Tim ? _Ooh ooh…_ he waved at him.

Tim's both teammates started walking to him.

— Tim, are you ok…

— Tony, Ziva. MTAC, now, a voice suddenly echoed from behind, interrupting them.

The silhouette of Gibbs appeared and he approached the duet, dark coffee in one hand.

— _I…_ Tony gesticulated incomprehensibly, torn between the strange behavior of McGee and the order he just had received from his boss. I…uh…okay. Let's go.

Gibbs barely watched them leave and made his usual turn, reaching his desk.

— McGee…you okay ? he asked, raising his head.

— Yes, boss, Tim answered emotionlessly, his brain having trouble processing other people's conversations, blank eyes quickly looking at the man in front of him.

Gibbs didn't say anything and focused again on his own computer, already bored by his machine.

He hit his keypad when boringness seemed to weigh a bit more on his shoulders, but Tim didn't react to any of the sounds, still focused on his screen.

— Can't we have paper documents, for God sake ? Gibbs complained already.

He deeply sighed and put on his glasses, mumbling alone like a lion stuck in a cage, trying to read again what obviously couldn't be read otherwise than on a computer.

— How is it going ? he asked after a while.

 _No answer_.

— _McGee_. Did you find how to crack the codes we needed ?

Tim slowly raised his head again, blank eyes still staring at the invisible nothing, but Gibbs wasn't really looking.

— On it, boss, he said, rather robotically.

 _That was what he usually said…wasn't it ?_

The three words echoed again inside his brain as if it was trying to assimilate the information. He wasn't himself really making any effort. Words were coming out when they were deciding it.

That was all.

— Faster, then.

— Yeah.

Tim's head lowered a bit again and he then stayed focused another short moment on his screen, until a new emotional overflow started eating into his energy reserves, creating inside of him some overwhelming impatience he had apparently no idea about. W _hy was he even here ?_

' _I need fresh air'_ he suddenly thought, the obvious need of it not mixing anyhow with any other appropriate feeling. He just knew somewhere that he _needed_ it, for whatever reason, this blinding obedience he owed to his own body...and so that was what he was going to do.

Tim then begun moving for no reason except the unknown need that he was following, leaving his desk without a word, blurry clouds still masking his thoughts and decisions…

Gibbs raised his head as he saw him leaving his space and started himself doing so, but Abby suddenly came up in the bullpen, shouting at him.

— Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs…!

— _What the hell is going on…_ he sighed, watching Tim leave with no explanation, but Abby was walking very fast to him, blocking his way. _Tim, what are you…_ he tried to add, before both dark ponytails begun swinging in front of him. What do you want, Abbs ?

— _Wow…_ someone is in a bad mood today.

— Abby, what do you want ! he insisted, seeing the doors of the elevator closing, Tim vanishing now completely from his sight.

— What are you doing here, Gibbs…she said, disappointed. You're always coming to the lab when you know I've found something ! What happened to the Abby-Gibbs magic link ?

— Magic _what_ ? he asked impatiently.

— You know…! When I find something you join me downstairs with my favorite drink and I show you what I got !

Gibbs raised his coffee to Abby, but she stepped back immediately, staring at the disgusting cup.

— Ewww… Gibbs, I know I'm not always the happiest person on earth, but I'm not suicidal ! No way I'm drinking this horrible potion of yours…

— So, what did you find ?

— _It's strange talking in here…_ she mumbled before speaking again, Gibbs's face obviously not showing kindness. But I'll do it ! So, remember the criminal I've put in the system ?

— Yeah.

— That's a match ! she almost jumped. Fingerprints are the ones.

— Congrats, Abbs, he said, kissing her on the cheek before leaving his working place. Send the address to…Tony and Ziva, he hesitated, considering he would find out about McGee later. They should be done with the MTAC by now.

— _Catch the bad guy !_ Abby smiled and waved at Jethro, taking a quick look at Tim's empty desk.


	3. Chapter 3

_Later, heading back to NCIS…_

— I'm surprised you didn't quote him anything while you arrested him, Tony, he had the perfect James Bond style, Ziva smiled as she entered again the bullpen, followed by Tony.

— Remember he had a gun pointed at me for a moment ? Didn't think it was the exact time to do so, David.

Ziva started laughing and walked to her desk, switching on her computer.

— Any news from McGee ? Tony asked, checking the screen of his phone, empty of any call.

— Nope. Did you try to contact him ?

— Not yet. The boss didn't say anything about it while we were catching Milovitch, so I guessed I'd wait.

A man in uniform approached the duet and interrupted the conversation, the elevator opening its doors at the same time, freeing Gibbs from the silver cage.

— Agent Dinozzo, David…McGee and Gibbs ? the man asked, reading an official paper.

— That's us, Gibbs said seriously, joining him.

— What's the matter ? Ziva added.

— Nothing much, I just got hired by Director Vance yesterday for a maintenance operation. I need confirmation from all of you that all computers have perfectly switched on.

Gibbs rolled his eyes and went first to his desk, already bored by this conversation. He uselessly pressed a key of his keypad and shook his head in the man's direction, urging him to come.

— That works ? he questioned his interlocutor, coldly.

The man nodded with hesitation, the screen obviously already on, but Tony gestured at him from where he was, warning him not to speak too much.

— That works, Agent Gibbs.

— Good.

Gibbs took a look at Tim's desk again and let the man approach the other two agents, both confirming their computers were working alright.

— Do you mind ? the man finally asked, walking near the last one.

Tony raised a hand from where he was, inviting the expert to do so, but Jethro put on his glasses and stopped him with his voice.

— He's been here quickly but he already used it, he had some work to do on it.

The man in uniform seemed to feel a bit uncomfortable but he still noticed and double-checked something on his personal tablet, something unusual.

— What ? Gibbs asked.

— I'm sorry, Agent Gibbs, but my software tells me this computer over here hasn't been used since yesterday, otherwise there wouldn't be this red dot you can see just here, he said, putting a finger on a corner of his tablet, showing it to the approaching group of teammates. It's only a matter of seconds, really...

Tony and Ziva stepped back a little, Gibbs obviously standing too close to Tim's desk, waiting for the man to check what he needed. The man then simply pressed the right button and quickly watched the screen, before ticking the box on his document.

— That's it, he smiled. Last computer is on, all is good.

— Thank you, Ziva smiled back to him.

Tony didn't say a word and only waited for the uniform to leave the space, facing now Gibbs's worried eyes. He was losing patience, he could feel it.

— What's going on !

— I don't know, boss.

— _Agent Gibbs ?_

A face suddenly spoke to him from the top of the stairs and he could recognize the still silhouette of Leon Vance.

— Director ?

— A car has just been found on the way to Pendle Farm. I've sent Drs Mallard and Palmer already. Might be a simple accident, but one of the victims is from the Navy, so I guess you know the procedure.

— On our way.

The three NCIS agents went inside the elevator and pressed the button in order to go down, doors closing as they all secretly wondered about where McGee could be...

Tony finally broke the silence and took his phone out of his pocket, but Jethro stopped him with a hand.

— You go to Tim's apartment first, you'll join us directly after that.

— Okay, boss.

They all left the elevator when it reached the exit floor and Tony opened the door of his car with a brain full of worried thoughts, heading to McGee's place...

Something was definitely going wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

_Near Pendle Farm…_

Gibbs and Ziva opened their door in perfect synchronization and then both walked to the potential Crime Scene, ground staining their shoes with dust. Ziva adjusted her cap and quickly took a look at the nature.

— _Ah, Jethro…_ Ducky greeted him from afar, taking off his latex gloves.

— What do we have ? Gibbs asked.

— As Director Vance said, probably an accident, but you know I can't give you a definitive verdict until I've checked everything again with an autopsy, he smiled.

— No witnesses ?

— Not to my knowledge.

— Who is it ?

— Well, I would correct you by saying « Who are _they_ ? », as we do have in here not one, but two victims, but the bodies look pretty bad because of the accident, so I was hoping for your little… _machine_ to give me the name of, at least, the Navy man.

Gibbs let Ziva walk to the car and answered the call coming on his phone, Tony's voice echoing on the other side.

— Gibbs.

— _Boss, it's Tony._

— Anything new, Tony ?

— _Yeah, well, boss...he's not there_.

— Did you go inside or did you just knock at the door ? Jethro became impatient.

— _Yeah, I've showed my badge to the concierge and he let me in._

Gibbs sighed desperately and stared at the sky with increasing worries, trying to figure out something.

— Anything else ?

— _Nothing, boss…oh, wait, except maybe…well, I guess he had some time to get changed before he left. It's…dirty…_

Tony slowly raised McGee's shirt, revealing some visible dust on a big corner of it.

— No, no, he must have done it before, Gibbs reacted, his clothes were clean when he showed up this morning.

— _Well, s_ _o, I have no idea about what could have happ…oh dear…_

— What ?

 _Silence._

— Tony, what's happening ? he insisted.

But Ziva approached at the same time, accompanied by Ducky and Jimmy.

— _Tony !_ Jethro kept on asking, lost between the phone conversation and the group of people near him.

— Gibbs…Ziva pronounced.

— Jethro…Ducky added.

Gibbs seemed to be very upset for a second, unable to know what to do first, so he finally just put the speaker on, hoping to get an answer soon from anyone.

— Will someone tell me what's happening !

— Jethro, the name of the man in the car is…

Gibbs raised an eyebrow to the group, Tony keeping himself silent on the other side of the line.

— The name of the man in the car is the one of the Admiral John McGee…Ziva admitted.

— …and his wife, Jimmy added, shyly.

Jethro tried to pronounce something, _anything_ , but no sound could come out of his mouth, nothing that could explain what was happening or make any sense of this situation. _McGee was still missing, and now his parents were dead..._

— _Boss ?_ Tony asked and broke the silence.

— Yes, Tony ?

— _That's what I was about to say… the other part of the shirt…it's covered by blood._

The whole team's faces turned white at the news and everyone remained silent for a second, before another man in uniform begun walking in their direction.

— _Agent Gibbs ?_

— Yes ? he answered with difficulty, some invisible stone now weighing on his lungs, making his breath painful.

— We found something else in the car, I thought you'd need it for analysis.

Gibbs nodded and the man raised a dark jacket to Ziva. She grabbed it and stared at what had just been given to her, and then quickly met the eyes of Jethro, sharing the same opinion.

— McGee's…Jethro sighed, closing his flip phone.


	5. Chapter 5

— Abby, Ziva spoke as Gibbs slammed the door of the car and accelerated, we need you to trace McGee's phone immediately.

— _Did something wrong happen to Tim ?_

— _Abby_ , Gibbs ordered near Ziva, trace the phone !

— _On it, Gibbs._

Gibbs turned the steering wheel with a visible tension in his arms and kept looking at the road, but Ziva didn't say a thing, obviously pretty used to that kind of speed when she was herself driving. Wheels of the car rolled like crazy circles when Jethro pushed the pedal to its limits, and he then let the anguish drive him away from his previous location, that serious expression still, though, drawn onto his face.

 _But where could he go ? Did he have any idea of where McGee could be if he wasn't even at his own appartment ?_

— ... _Gibbs ?_

Ziva jumped as she heard the voice and instantly put the speaker on, freeing Abby's voice a little more.

— What took you so long, Abbs ? he asked selfishly, steering wheel still moving under his palms.

— _Uh...technology ?_

— Where is he, Abby ? Ziva pronounced.

— _Well, I'd say here and there...he must be in a car, 'cause the signal of his phone is constantly moving. Not very fast, but still faster than if he was just walking.  
_  
— Could you be more specific ?

— _Well, my computer says he's approaching...Cool Discount Market. Not the best idea in the world at this time of the day, if you want my opinion, but...  
_  
— _Cool_ what ? Gibbs asked, the stupidity of the name making him forget some of his worries.

— _You know, Gibbs ! It's a big supermarket...they have a lot of ads on TV about it... It's like :" Cool discount Market, the cheaper in town..."_ she begun singing.

Ziva felt the smile touch her lips as she heard the woman sing, but she didn't say a word about it. If Abby was always spontaneous in any situation, no doubt it might be as well a way for her to keep the worries away.

— And now ?

— _Hem...wait, the signal just stopped moving in front of the supermarket, so...maybe the phone is still in his car ?_

 _—_ We'll figure that out, Ziva said as she checked the itinerary on her screen.

— _Bring him back, Gibbs !  
_  
Ziva ended the call, her eyes now staring completely at the map, and Abby's voice immediately left the speaker, leaving both agents to a one-to-one conversation.

— It's not far, Gibbs, about six miles from the NCIS. St Paul's Avenue.

Jethro immediately turned left and it then lead him to another street, secretely reassured to feel the concrete roads under his wheels, dust of the previous Crime Scene only keeping him away from the city...away from McGee.

 _It didn't make any sense... It might have been a huge supermarket, the biggest in the world, why was Tim even going there ?  
_  
— Big shopping ? Ziva suddenly asked and answered, as if she'd heard his secret question.

— Tell Tony to join us, he must be dying in there.

— I already texted him.

— Good.

The last miles were the worst as both agents didn't know what to expect from their future discovery, but Abby hadn't tried to contact them since their last call...so Tim should still be where she'd say he would be...


	6. Chapter 6

— _Cool Discount Market_ , Ziva read through the windshield. That's the one, Gibbs.

Gibbs sharply turned the steering wheel and parked the car in the first empty space available, near the entrance.

— I'm going inside. Wait in here.

Ziva didn't contest the order but silently sighed at the obligation, wishing she could do something more.

— He'll need all of us, Gibbs said to her before he left the vehicle, as if he was, this time, the one guessing her thoughts.

Jethro crossed the crowded pavement and entered the supermarket with a deep apprehension, facing now the giant place and its useless background music which was already getting on his nerves.

He quickly put his palms on his hips, eyes looking for any detail that could help, desperately wondering where he should start...

 _Too many people... and no one he could usefully talk to..._

Someone hit his shoulder as he was still standing here, thinking, and he finally convinced himself to start looking for Tim anywhere, pushing, in turn, other people's shoulders and shopping bags, trying to find a way to walk in the middle of this huge place...

— McGee, he whispered.

Adrenaline sent its energy to his heart when he thought he'd seen someone, and he begun rushing to the back of the man near the vegetables area, raising a palm in the shoulder's direction.

— McGee, are you okay ? he trembled.

— _I beg your pardon...?_

The man revealed a face Jethro had no idea about and he then just froze and barely apologized, only walking again, whispering Tim's last name to anyone who could hear him.

— Come on, Tim, where are you ? he asked to himself as he stopped for a second, questioning his own mind with real care.

He took another glance at the place, uselessly looking for a shirt and a short haircut...until the answer came up to his brain.

 _Books. Tim loved books... Tim was a writer._

It seemed to be a bad idea for a minute, but maybe it wasn't so bad.  
Or maybe it wasn't so bad because he had no other idea anyway, but it was still worth a try...  
Gibbs walked as fast as he could, looking at the different signs at the end of the food section, hoping to find the appropriate category...  
The beeps of articles being scanned increased inside his head and begun driving him crazy but he tried to stay focused on his goal...before he suddenly hurried when the ' _BOOKS_ ' word miraculously showed him the way, turning then left with visible nervousness, his heart painfully bumping under his skin...

 _And that's where he saw him. Browsing a book from the shelf, reading a page or two.  
Natural and weird._

 _All alone._

— McGee, Gibbs slowly pronounced, Tim's head calmly facing his, blurry clouds growing bigger as someone was approaching dangerously his personal space.

— Oh, hi, boss.

— Hi, Tim...

Jethro put a warm hand on McGee's shoulder and kept looking at him into the eyes, aware that it was something painful...for both of them.

— What are you doing here, McGee ?

— Reading, he answered slowly as always, the simple fact of speaking not seeming to be that easy to do.

Tim lowered his head again in order to keep on reading, thinking maybe about another book to look at, and Gibbs stood still for a minute right behind him, feeling stupid and useless where he was, trying to think fast... He pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing 911.

 _No. Not yet. A crowded place...lights and sounds...doctors... It didn't seem like a good idea._

 _Not now._

Tim finally put the book back where it was and started moving to any other space, in the exit direction. Gibbs canceled the call he was about to make and dialed Ziva's number instead, the voice answering almost instantly.

— _You found him ?_

— Yes. It seems like he's about to leave. I'll follow him to the exit. No need to scare him in here.

— _Tony's found his car, not far from us. Wasn't even locked. He's waiting._

— Alright, Gibbs said. One at the time.

— _I'm waiting for you, then._

Gibbs hung up his phone and quietly walked near Tim, his agent still moving at a reasonable pace, not minding people touching him with their arms full of shopping bags. Hopefully he didn't go anywhere else inside the supermarket, but was it because he had interrupted him ? He had no proof of that.

The doors opened in front of the two men and Gibbs let Tim go to his car, watching him carefully until he entered his vehicle...

— What do you think, boss ? Ziva asked as he sat next to her, staring at Tim's car.

— I think Tim needs Tony for now.

Ziva seemed surprised by the revelation and faced him with a questioning look.

— You mean _our_ Tony ?

— No, Gibbs answered calmy. The other version.

— Sad Tony ?

— Serious Tony.

...Tim entered his vehicle and watched Tony on the passenger seat, clouds he could not control fighting now with no pain inside his brain.

— Tony, he smiled emotionlessly.

— Hi, Tim.

— What are you doing here ?

Tony peacefully sighed and gently tapped the seat next to him.

— Why don't you sit for a minute, McGee ?

Tim sat where he'd been invited to do so and slowly took his keys out of his pocket, but Tony nicely took them from his hand.

— What are you doing, Tony ?

— _You..._ he breathed in with hesitation, looking for the right words to say. You want to talk, Tim ?

Tim's eyes shared the pain he had no conscious idea of and he then raised an eyebrow to his colleague, strange and dubious.

— Talk about what ? he sincerely asked.

— About your parents.


	7. Chapter 7

— I don't understand, Tim smiled again, with no real feeling.

— Tim, Tony spoke carefully, everything is alright, I only want to talk with you.

— But…did I do something wrong, Tony ? I mean, I just want to go home…

Tony watched him with sorry eyes, sadness killing him to the bone…but he wasn't here to let himself go, he was here to comfort Tim the best way he could.

— You know what, Timmy ? Tony seemed to change his mind. What if you were letting me drive, uh ?

But he felt that Tim was about to protest, so he quickly begun speaking again and showed his bright teeth to his friend.

— You know I don't trust you when you drive, he chuckled. You're too slow, McDriver.

Tony smiled another time and waited for an answer, not really sure he'd been helpful at all.

— So…what about switching seats ? he asked again.

— Okay.

Tony took a look at Gibbs' car while he opened his door. He then slowly walked to the other side of the vehicle after he'd been certain that Tim had came inside again, and he discreetly shook his head in Gibbs and Ziva's direction, sending a signal he was sure they would understand.

— What are you doing ?

— We're going to the hospital.

— What, _now_ ?

— Yes, Ziva. Now.

Jethro sighed and started the vehicle, Ziva's eyes still on him.

— What's wrong ?

— Nothing.

— Gibbs…

— It's just sooner than I expected, he sighed again, following Tony's car. I thought Dinozzo would have some more time to talk with him, but I guess he knows what he's doing.

— He knows what he is doing, Ziva unexpectedly confirmed, herself surprised by her own words.

But sometimes eternal jokes and ego had to be forgotten and put behind for a while, to let the truth rise up and maybe help others…

…Tim stared at the roads and buildings through the windshield, sensing that something was probably wrong, but he couldn't put a real explanation on it, his mind still obscured by a strange veil of greyness, his whole being undoubtedly lost for a reason he couldn't identify yet.

In fact, he was just feeling… _nothing._

— So how are you feeling, McGee ?

Tim barely turned his head to the man talking to him, lost in a world in slow motion, wondering why someone was asking him such a question when he obviously didn't know the answer.

— I'm good.

— Always that smile ! Tony chuckled and pointed a finger at Tim with a visible uncomfort, shortly staring at the car's ceiling as if it was a direct way to heaven, definitely in need of some advice.

That was so strange… He knew all of this by heart, these streets, these shops, these people…but today everything seemed to be so _different_ , as if everyone was watching him…staring at him, in order to judge the situation…people feeling sorry for him…for _them_.

He kept on driving for a little while and finally parked the car when he knew they had arrived to their destination...

Deep silence heavily filled the atmosphere when all the lights left the dashboard of the vehicle, and Tony watched Gibbs' car arriving behind through the rearview mirror, its wheels moving a little bit further from them, waiting somewhere else…

— I feel _useless_ , Gibbs ! Ziva suddenly complained. _I'm_ _sorry_ , she added, but I don't really understand what I am doing here. I'd better head back to NCIS and help Ducky with the case, I know we have no proof of any crime yet, but I still feel that I'd be more useful somewhere else.

— Patience, Ziva…Jethro slowly pronounced, arms lying on top of his steering wheel.

— I don't want to seem heartless, Gibbs, she gesticulated again, but investigations…

— …investigations can wait, Ziva. Yes, sometimes investigations can wait, he repeated, slowly.

Ziva closed her mouth and didn't try to say anything else, only crossing her arms around her waist, finally decided to wait.

…Tim stared at the side of the building in front, his heart now bumping painfully under his skin, making him nervous.

 _But why ?_

 _He could just feel it. The feeling that something was definitely going wrong._

— Tim...

— Where are we, Tony ?

— Tim, I...

— I don't understand what we are doing here, I...

— Tim, I'm trying to talk to you ! Tony suddenly turned mad inside the car.

But Tim seemed to be completely lost in his world, like a child fighting unfairness.

— I just thought we were going home, why...

— Okay, _which home_ , Tim ? Tony asked, his cheeks tensing with the question. _Which home_ , McGee, you mean your apartment, or your parents' place ?

Tony suddenly stopped talking and rubbed his tired face with emotion, pushing his palms against the dashboard, already regretting his words. Or at least what would be next...

— Let's go for a walk, McGee.

— Okay.

Tony opened the door of the car, his neck tensed like hell, and waited for Tim to join him, begging the sky for a miracle.

— Tim, listen…

But Tim wasn't looking at him, not really. He wasn't looking at anyone. Tony grabbed his arm and tightened his grip around it, his voice getting louder and seriouser.

— Tim ! he insisted.

But it was like shaking an empty box, no sound was coming out of it.

 _— Hey !_ Tim, I'm talking to you !

— What do you want, Tony.

Tony blinked as his heart stopped beating for a second.

 _That was it_.

The unbearable, and so unwanted little reaction he was expecting from Tim, giving him the sensation that a little something had just been broken in the tone of his voice, ready to shake up the soul of the man that would soon be devastated...

 _That was the right time to speak._

— We are outside the hospital, McGee. And we're gonna go inside, okay ?

— What ?

— Not for long, I promise. Just the time for you to do some…little tests…you know, taking of bit of vitamins…talking to someone…

— But I don't want to go in there, I...

— I'm only asking a few hours, McGee, _alright_ ?

But McGee begun walking faster to another direction. Gibbs got ready to move and opened the door of his car, followed by Ziva, but he stopped her when he felt that maybe they should wait, Tony apparently taking control of the situation.

McGee was trying to walk further, _anywhere_. All he knew was that he needed some fresh air again, some more, more air than the outside could give him, he needed…he needed something _more_.

Tony watched him desperately, running to him.

 _That was definitely it. The big moment he was sadly expecting. THE moment._

Tony grabbed Tim's both shoulders with all his strength and forced him to face his new reality.

— You remember now ? Please, Tim, tell me that you remember, otherwise I'll have to be the one who'll tell you the truth, and believe me when I say I really don't want that.

— _I…_ Tim mumbled, feeling the warmth coloring his pale face, fresh air of the outside curiously lessening his breath.

— Yes ? Tony's face turned red as well, waiting for an answer.

But Tim felt incapable to speak, as if a hand was pressing hard against his chest.

 _All he could see was the night…the arms losing control of the vehicle…_

 _And blood._

Tony sadly waited in silence, Tim's body getting lighter between his palms as he was facing deep, hidden memories.

 _Tim's eye remembered the car driving into the night, and the headlights shining into the darkness...the dust…_

 _And blood again. A lot of blood..._

McGee suddenly felt as if a chill had crossed his whole body, sending on its way a terrible sensation of warmth and coldness...and unbelievable truth.

— _Tony…_ he abruptly froze in the middle of the pavement. _My parents…_

— I'm sorry, McGee.

Tim opened his mouth and felt the air painfully leave his lungs as he got his confirmation, and all he could remember after that was that horrible living nightmare he was finally going through, silhouettes approaching him while he couldn't do anything else but breathing...if that was still something possible.

Tears barely filled his eyes at this very moment, but his whole body suddenly decided to let him down, Tony quickly wrapping his arms around him.

— I got you, Timmy !

Tony deeply sighed and met the glance of his other teammates.

 _— I'm sorry, McGee_ , he repeated after a long minute of silence. I'm very...sorry.

Ziva kept walking in the duet's direction and took a look at the scene, Gibbs dialing the hospital's number...

— Agent Gibbs, we are in front of the building. I think we'll need some help.

— _We're coming, Agent Gibbs._

— Thanks…

Jethro sighed and hung up his phone, now staring at Ziva.

— _So ?_ he whispered to her. _You still think you're being useless ?_


	8. Chapter 8

— It's gonna be alright, McGee, Ziva comforted Tim, watching him leave on the stretcher to the inside of the hospital.

He was so quiet and scared, previous shock due to previous denial leading him now to another one, as if the news had killed him softly…

She slowly breathed in and gave some space to the professionals, taking a glance at Gibbs.

— I'm glad you told me to stay, Gibbs, she smiled. I want to be there for McGee.

— I never doubted that.

— _I'm gonna sit in the waiting room..._ she discreetly added, watching Tony who had stayed behind, touching Gibbs' hand before leaving.

Jethro let her go and took a look at the doors of the hospital, wondering if Tim would really be alright…then another one at Tony out there, visibly affected by the situation.

— _Hey_ , he said, walking to the car. You alright ?

— Hey, boss.

— _You okay ?_

— Yeah.

Gibbs put a palm onto his agent's shoulder.

— Why don't you go home, Tony ?

Tony faced him with the same sad eyes than before, tired and desperate.

— Why don't we _all_ go home, boss ?

— Do as I say. Have some rest. Ziva will be waiting for the doctors.

— You're the boss…Tony mumbled, raising an arm to nowhere.

He didn't want to fight. _Not today._

So he only got into his car and let Jethro Gibbs do the same...

...Gibbs entered the autopsy room with a new state of mind, trying to forget a bit the whole Tim's story in order to focus on his current parental case.

— Ah, Jethro…

— Hello, Agent Gibbs.

— Ducky, you have something ?

— Yes, Mr Palmer and I have, _unfortunately_ , checked everything again, and we did find something.

Ducky walked to the first body, pointing a finger at the Admiral's neck, inviting Jethro to come. Gibbs kept his serious face as he stopped next to him and only tried to follow his explanations, Tim's previous despair still obscuring his own thoughts.

— The Admiral was suffering from what neurologists call a Spasmodic Torticollis, some rare disease attacking the muscles of the neck… Dystonia is the common name given to that general illness, but it can develop somewhere else and attack patients' eyelids as well, under the name, this time, of Blepharospasm...

— Ducky...

— But I can see that I'm boring you, Jethro, he smiled. So, _in summary_ , all you have to remember is that the spasm comes when the muscle is contracting too much. To explain it quickly : if the left one pulls, then the head follows on the side. _Etc...etc..._ he smiled again.

— Okay, got it. Any treatments for that ?

— Oh sure, there are, Jimmy added, a lot, in fact ! Muscle relaxer, medical creams, injections…

— And did he receive any of these ?

— Well, I can confirm for sure that the Admiral McGee has been receiving injections, Ducky answered.

Gibbs sighed and now stared at the woman's body, then back at Ducky.

— What about her ?

— Nothing useful we could talk about, I'm afraid. She's died from the car accident, Jethro.

 _Another sigh._

— So _what_ ? There's nothing else ? Gibbs asked, frustrated.

But Ducky walked a few steps to somewhere else in the room, throwing on his way both his dirty gloves.

— You did not let me finish, Jethro… I talked to one of my colleagues in Neurology, just to confirm a detail I wasn't perfectly sure about, and I've found something that might please you as much as it might disgust you...he chuckled.

Gibbs suddenly approached a bit closer, silent curiosity playing with his guts.

— Botulinum Toxin, Jimmy said from afar.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow to both men, waiting for some more.

— Let me enlighten you, Jethro. You see, Botulinum Toxin is famous to be used as a treatment for patients with spasmodic torticollis disease, _but_ , as every treatment, you can only receive a certain dose of it, and with some time in between, of course…

— What are you saying, Ducky ?

Jimmy seemed to be rereading a document he had between his hands. He approached Gibbs with a shy movement as he raised his head to him again, and he finally gave him the answer he was desperately waiting for.

— The dosages of the Admiral John McGee weren't the good ones, Agent Gibbs.

Ducky saw Jethro ready to leave, so he accompanied him in the automatic doors' direction, hoping to stop him near the elevator.

— Hold on a second, he pronounced, running behind him.

Ducky gazed into Gibbs' eyes.

— How...how is Timothy, Jethro ?

— Processing.

— Well, do tell him we're all thinking of him in here.

— I will.

Gibbs pressed the button and waited for the silver cage to open.

— He'll have to come back soon to NCIS anyway, remember he's been a witness.

— Oh, dear.

Gibbs nodded and let both rectangles invite him to go inside, Ducky's worried face still staring at him.

The doors prepared themselves to close but Jethro suddenly put a palm on the way, looking at the man.

— You'd say I would be pleased, he added.

— Yes, Dr Mallard nodded and sadly sighed, I know you never believe in coincidence.

Gibbs shortly smiled at the anecdote and the old man only paused for a second or two, before he finally spoke again.

— So, Jethro...whether or not the accident is the cause of the death, someone _did_ try to make an attempt on the Admiral McGee's life.

Gibbs kept a neutral face at the situation's reminder and secretly begun thinking deeper, taking his hand away from where it was, the silver cage now completely closing in front of him.


	9. Chapter 9

A woman in a white coat walked from a corridor to the hall of the hospital, looking for an official badge. Ziva recognized her as she approached and immediately stood up in the middle of the waiting room, ready for the news.

— You must be the agent I've seen before we left with your friend, she smiled.

— Agent Ziva David, she said, shaking the opposite hand. How is Tim ?

— Well, it seems like he's now aware of his new reality. The last few hours must have been pretty hard on him psychologically, but he said he was ready to leave.

— Can he leave now ?

— Not now, but tomorrow before noon. We still need to check if everything is alright, no need to say it has been quite a shock for your friend, and he'll have a mandatory talk with one of our psychologists first thing in the morning.

Ziva smiled and looked at the woman, trying to hide her concern about McGee.

— Can I visit him ?

— Well, I'd rather say no. We think he should rest as much as possible for now…but here is a copy of his hospital bill with the basic informations and spaces to write in, I just remember that your employer has asked for it in order to help your colleague with his papers.

— Yes, it sounds like my _boss_ , she discreetly corrected the woman, taking the document, thanking her again.

She pretended to stare at it as she watched with one eye the doctor walk away from her, directly looking for the number of the room, and she finally folded what had just been given to her, trying to find where to go.

Gibbs couldn't give a damn about medical bills. He just knew it would give them McGee's exact location if any of them had troubles accessing it.

She smiled again at the idea and discreetly moved to another corridor, watching her back, in case the woman might be seeing or following her…

…She pushed the glass door of the room she'd finally found, lying a bit on it, watching Tim.

He was sitting on a hospital bed, writing.

— What are you doing, McGee ? she asked, calmly, the tone of her voice bringing some softness to the silence of the place.

Tim raised both his surprised eyes in her direction and a face awfully marked by the recent revelations, but he didn't move in order to greet her, only staying where he was.

— I asked for some paper and a pen, he smiled emotionlessly as he showed them to Ziva, the lack of visible feeling being, this time, terribly sincere.

Ziva walked to him after a last glance at the outside of the room and grabbed the chair near the bed, now sitting and facing Tim.

— Did they let you come in ?

— Yes, Ziva answered after a short hesitation.

Tim showed again this painful smile and focused his attention on the pen in had between fingers, looking for any subject to talk about…in order to fill the silence.

— Ever heard of privacy, Ziva ?

— You know me too well, Tim, she laughed and touched his hand. So…I heard you were leaving tomorrow ?

— Yes. Can't wait.

Ziva sighed and took a full look at the room. So _neutral_ …and empty.

 _She'd never liked hospitals._

Probably not because of doctors and treatments…probably because of the awful decoration.

She crossed her arms around her waist, silence already becoming quite heavy, even if they had just finished talking a minute ago…

Maybe she should just wait in here…and say nothing.

— I'll have to talk about it soon, won't I, he interrupted her thoughts.

— Tim, Ziva sat up onto her seat, you don't have to talk about that now.

— Yes, Ziva, _I do_. I mean, I don't see Gibbs and Director Vance waiting, giving me a few days of holidays before speaking, with this open investigation going on…

— Maybe you can write it, McGee, Ziva stopped him as she stared at the pen and paper, still on the bed. You don't have to talk officially to anyone for now, right, maybe never if they find everything they need. All the NCIS truly _need_ is your statement.

Tim touched the pen again and stared at the hospital's logo on it without really looking.

 _Writing. Of course he could do it._ _Why didn't he think about it earlier ?_

— Maybe because your parents are dead ?

— What ? his heart bumped as he looked at Ziva.

— I said 'write everything that's in your head' she repeated.

— Okay, he trembled a bit.

— McGee, are you okay ? I mean…

— Yes.

Tim sighed, touching the paper with his fingertips.

— _I…_ I just think I should be left alone. _You know…_ things to write, he added before Ziva could say anything else.

— Alright McGee, if that's what you want.

Tim nodded, so she then stood up again and replaced the chair where it was supposed to be, slowly walking to the glass window, looking at her teammate.

— Can I come back tomorrow and pick you up ? she gently asked before leaving.

— Actually, I've already texted a friend…Tim admitted. _I…_ with everything going on, I think I'd like to keep a bit the professional and personal separate...let's say as much as possible.

— I see. What's the name of your friend ?

— Joseph, he answered instantly. Why, why do you want to know ?

— No reason. Just for talking, she smiled and left the room.

 _Now she was sure he wasn't lying._

Tim took a new look at the now empty space, the place free of Ziva, free of anyone… He wasn't even sure to be here himself.

— Okay, he finally whispered. Let's do this…

Tim grabbed the pen between fingers again and begun writing his statement.

He just wanted to go home… He wanted this to be over… So the sooner, the better.

' _I, Agent Timothy McGee, was in the car the night of the…'_

Tim stopped for a second, his hand beginning to shake a bit, in perfect synch with his breathing.

'… _accident that killed the Admiral John McGee…'_

— Come on Tim, you can do it, he repeated, his eyeballs now getting wet and shiny.

'… _and my mother, Dr Jessica McGee.'_

And here it was again. The shaking in his arm.

' _I was sitting behind when the car approached the Pendle Farm_ , he wrote, a first tear falling down his cheek. My father… _the Admiral John McGee_ , he corrected on the paper, _suddenly lost control of the vehicle, and…'_

Tim's breath brusquely became too painful to handle, and numerous tears suddenly escaped from his eyes as the hospital's pen left his hand, impatient to stain his skin with liquid sadness after all these mourning hours of nothingness…

Tim watched his whole body tremble, his facial features painfully tensing under the power of its desperation, and for the first time of his life he realized how hard it was…to write.


	10. Chapter 10

— _Agent McGee ?_

Tim slowly stood up from his chair and walked to the woman.

— Nice to meet you, Agent McGee, I am Dr Jenskin.

— Please call me Tim.

— Alright, Tim. _Please come in…_

The woman smiled as he entered the room, glad that his new patient was not avoiding the conversation to come besides the obvious difficulties he was going through, and she then invited Tim to sit down onto the sofa of the room, silently waiting for him to do so.

— So, Tim, she sat down and begun. How do you feel ?

— _Uh…_ he sighed. Bad, I guess, he said, hands on his knees.

— Anything else ?

Tim raised a questioning face to the woman.

— Well, Dr Jenskin smiled, if I had asked you 'How are you ?', I would have understood your answer, but I did ask you 'How do you _feel_?', so...you're free to tell me _everything_ that you feel.

But silence filled the space, heavy and expected…

— There is no bad answer, Agent McGee, I hope you know that.

— _Tim_. Please call me Tim.

Dr Jenskin briefly apologized to him and raised an eyebrow, her plan obviously working.

— Is there any trouble with that, Tim ? Does being a NCIS Agent bother you ?

— No.

— Are you perfectly sure about that ?

— I'm not on duty, Dr Jenskin, so there's no need to call me that way. I do believe that you call all your patients with their first names or last names, not professions.

The woman wrote a few notes about the current conversation and looked once again into Tim's eyes.

— I'm sorry.

— It's alright.

— I'm just feeling a bit tired with all these…'Navy names'.

Tim listened to his own words with a strange opinion. _It didn't really mean anything...did it ?_

— Could you be more specific ? the woman asked.

— I just…he tried to say. I don't know, _I…_ I just want to take some time off, to think about something else.

— To _think_ about something else…or _forget_ ?

Tim quickly stroked his hair with both palms, trying to find anything to say, probably still 'processing' as Gibbs had previously said to Ducky, but nothing was really crossing his mind right now, nothing important enough to be explained…

— _Tim ?_

The tone of her voice broke the silence of the space, chasing his thoughts away for a second, bringing him back to the life of that room.

 _Life…_

— Would you like to tell me something about your parents ? Dr Jenskin asked, carefully.

 _Parents…_

Tim's brain and soul dived again into a world of unanswered questions, as if the current conversation was deleting words from his own vocabulary, showing him the way to a new personal story to live.

— I don't think I have anything to say about them.

— Are you sure, Tim...?

— You know, he sighed and sat up a bit onto the sofa, leaving the previous greyness of his mind, I'm aware that I have problems to face now, and I know, too, that I'm not here to tell you what to do, but...he sighed again. With all due respect, I think it's maybe too soon to talk about it.

— Go on, the woman said, seeing some uncomfort on his patient's face, as if he'd gone too far.

Tim stared at her for a second. _She didn't seem mad at all._

In fact, she even seemed glad that he was opening his heart.

— _You can't just…_ he tried to articulate, swallowing hardly. I mean, people can't just expect I'm gonna talk about my dead parents after only a few hours in a hospital, right ? _I…_ I don't know, he sat up again, it seems… _too fast._ I've barely spent a night in a room with…doctors checking on me from time to time, I ate a bit, I slept a bit…and now I'm supposed to talk about it…when I'm not even sure myself about how to talk about it.

— I understand, Tim. That's why our professionals are available 24 hours a day. It is my duty to advise you to take regular appointments, but it is your right, too, to take your time dealing with the situation before talking again to someone, if this is what you want.

— The thing is that I don't know what I want, Dr Jenskin, Tim sighed.

— And I cannot blame you for that.

She paused for a second, carefully staring at Tim.

— The only advice I can give you now is to have someone to talk to…and to give time to time.

— That makes two, Tim sadly smiled.

— That makes two, Dr Jenskin smiled back…

The duet ended their conversation a dozen of minutes later, and Tim just headed back to the hospital's hall after thanking the woman, boringly filling some documents and texting his friend…

When Joseph arrived and waved at him near the automatic doors, they both drove to the closest pharmacy, Tim having some painkillers to take, and they then left for their second and final direction : McGee's home.

— So…painkillers ? Was it that bad ?

— Just a broken rib. Not really enjoyable, but not the end of the world.

— These painkillers are good. I had once an accident while I was skiing, and, oh man, they saved me a few times. Eat well between the takes, though, otherwise don't do something too intellectual.

— _Good to know_ , Tim gritted his teeth, still worried at the sight of his seatbelt. Keep driving safely, Jo'…I wouldn't want to break another one.

— Okay, then.

Tim lied a bit against the window, tired and hurt in so many different ways, happy to have someone driving him home...not someone from the NCIS. He put the mandatory pill inside his mouth when he finished rereading the instructions, and he then hoped for the physical pain to go away at some point.

He was happy for his friend to be there, otherwise he knew the others would have insisted…

— Thanks for the drive, Joseph, Tim thanked his friend as he started leaving the car.

— At least one of us can drive properly ! the man laughed. You sure you don't need any help ?

— It's just a few stairs, really. I'm gonna take my medicines again in the evening and lie down a bit in between, nothing too violent, I promise.

— Alright. Nighty-night, Tim.

— Bye, Jo'. And thanks again.

The car left the previous place he had shortly stopped to, and Tim only smiled with relief where he was, preparing himself to go home. He raised a shy hand to where the bone was supposed to be broken, but he was hopefully starting to feel nothing. He dived his hand inside his pocket and shook the small medical recipient between fingers, feeling a bit dizzy...

Magic painkiller...and now he had a collection. _Lucky him._

— Great Tim, he whispered to himself. Broken rib, pills and…dead parents.

 _Dead parents._

Maybe the painkillers were working better on him, or maybe he had just became the bad version of himself, but whatever…

He knew he had to rewrite his statement in order to send it the soonest possible, and he would do that first.

 _Medicines would definitely help._

Tim came inside the building, not aware that someone was watching him from the inside of a car, and he then opened the door of his own apartment, now half lost in another world.

He let his place the way it was and only walked in the darkness to his computer, starting a new email, screen light blinding his tired eyes...

Another silent call showed up inside the rectangle of his phone while he was copying what he'd previously written by hand at the hospital, as if the others knew he was sending something to them, but he didn't answer to anyone.

To the rest of the world, he was only this man with a broken bone…and it was definitely not about to change.


	11. Chapter 11

_A sound…a really disturbing sound..._

 _Hard knocks on the door._

— _MCGEE !_ the voice shouted on the other side. _OPEN THE DOOR !_

 _Was he crazy ? He'd wake up everyone in the building, hitting his door like that._

Tim slowly sat on his bed and faced the dark space of his apartment, his ankles hurting.

 _Probably the shoes._

He bent down a little, trying to untie one of them, but the pain reminded him his broken rib and Tim let an awful groan come out of his mouth, speechless.

The knocks kept echoing in the room, the sound of it killing his brain...

— _Coming !_ he spoke loudly, trying to be heard from the inside, desperate to make that terrible noise stop.

Tim renounced to untie his shoes and approached the door with exasperation, realizing how exhausting standing up was... He sighed and pressed the handle, the light of the corridor atrociously blinding him.

— McGee ! the voice trembled, revealing the man's face.

— You're gonna wake up everybody shouting like that…what's the matter ? he softly asked,  
extremely tired.

— 'Wake up everybody ?' Gibbs repeated as he entered the apartment, looking for the light. _Damn it_ , McGee, what time do you think it is ? It's not even diner time.

— _Don't…_ Tim raised a hand, protecting his eyes.

But light was already on.  
He stared at the curtains when he felt like he could free his eyes from his palm's shadow, remembering he had closed them earlier…

 _Whatever… Weather had been so dark the whole morning, so what was the difference…_  
 _It'd only been a little more darkness…that was all._

— Well, I still had decided to go to sleep…he weakly and boringly pronounced, too tired for a big conversation.

Gibbs walked in his direction and stared at him with a worried expression, as if Tim was trying to fool him.

— You sleep with you shirt and sneakers, McGee ? he asked coldly.

— _I…_

Tim pressed a hand against his forehead. _He was thinking too slow…_ and the previous painkiller effect was letting him down.

— And you write emails in the dark ? Gibbs continued. Vance received your copy, McGee, and the funny thing is that I was right there in my car when he told me on the phone he'd received your statement.

— Are you spying on me ? Tim turned mad.

— Answer the question, McGee ! Gibbs insisted.

— I was doing both, _okay_ ? I wrote an email, and then I went to bed ! _Final !_ he explained everything clearly, finding the whole story completely ridiculous.

But Gibbs' face wasn't changing at all, and still Tim couldn't understand.  
He suddenly clenched a fist, the broken rib hurting twice more than before.

— McGee, you okay ?

 _How was he doing this…_ _He could shout and seem angry…simply talk and seem worried…_  
 _But he was always true to himself, never showing desperation._

— Yes, I only need a…

 _Painkiller._

— I only need to rest, Gibbs…

Jethro didn't seem to notice anything but still kept extremely tensed facial features around his cheeks and forehead, something Tim couldn't understand. _He hadn't done anything wrong, he just wanted to rest…_

— If we're finished, I think I will go back to bed, Tim begun speaking again.

— So that's all ? That's really all, McGee ? Jethro dropped his arms.

— What do you mean, boss, you want me to go back to work ? I thought I'd have some additional days…

— Oh course _you have_ , McGee, but people _do_ discuss about that, they take time to talk about that…  
you don't just lock your door and wait alone in the dark.

 _That was enough. He was too tired. But why ?_  
 _A broken bone, some medicines, sure it was tiring. But not that much…_  
 _He only knew he had a few days off. So why was Gibbs even here ?_

— Hey, we only care about you, okay ?

— But why is it your problem if I close my curtains and rest ? Tim kept getting angrier, physical pain increasing probably not helping his situation.

— _Why ?_ Gibbs hesitated.

Tim kept his eyes focused on Gibbs' ones, really waiting for the answer.

— Because I thought you were _dead_ , McGee ! That's why ! he suddenly admitted, his arms shaking a bit in the room.

 _Wait, 'dead'…_

 _Dead ?_

— I was waiting in my car after your went home, just thinking about going back to NCIS, trying to fight against the wish to break your door, but I stayed, McGee ! Gibbs nervously raised his voice. I stayed, thinking that if you hadn't answered our calls or asked us for help that was because we owed you some privacy after what had happened to you, but then I thought about you being alone, and I was _torn_ , McGee, torn between the idea of letting you face the situation all by yourself and the one of intervening in case you'd do something irreversible.

Tim rubbed both his temples, feeling completely lost.

 _'Irreversible'…_

 _The situation ?_

— But…wh… _dead_ ? Tim's face painfully turned red, ready to explode.

— Yes, McGee, you really need me to repeat that ?

— But _wh…_ Tim tried to speak. _Wh…_ why on earth would I be _dead_ , boss, I don't get it…!

Gibbs faced him with desperate eyes, trying to analyze him.

 _Tim really didn't know…o_ r at least, he had forgotten.

— Your parents, McGee, _your parents._

 _His parents, yes, his parents…_

 _But what about them ?_

— That's it, McGee, I bring you back to the hospital, Gibbs decided as he grabbed Tim's arm without his consent.

Everything was suddenly going so fast. _And he was thinking so slow…_

— No, _wait_ ! Tim tried to speak and move away. I'm not going to the hospital with you, _I..._ I do not even know what's going on !

— Hospital or my place, _you choose_ ! Gibbs violently ordered.

— _Okay, okay !_ Your place, Tim sighed as if he was unfairly arrested, feeling his arm being taken away again, pills silently moving in their recipient, secretly hidden inside his pocket.

 _His parents._ _Something had gone wrong with his parents._

But Gibbs kept pulling his arm to the exit and did not give him a chance to think properly, leaving the apartment with him,  
switching off the lights before closing the door.


	12. Chapter 12

Tim watched Gibbs' house from the inside of the car, still sitting in silence. The seat belt had completely freaked him out and even hurt him during the drive, but he had tried to hide the pain and fear as much as possible.

— _You're coming in ?_ Jethro knocked on the window, before opening the door.

— I guess I have no choice…Tim sighed.

— You guess right.

Gibbs quickly smiled and stepped back a little, his hand still pulling the handle, and then invited Tim to walk to the house.

— _Hey, there..._

— Tony ?

— Hey, Probie.

Tony was standing inside Gibbs' home, but no one had called him for sure.

In fact, the drive had been so uncomfortably silent that Tim was absolutely certain that no one had made any call to anyone.

— What are you doing here, Tony ? Tim started making conversation.

— Just had a feeling you'd be here, he smiled.

— _Great._

Gibbs' palm on his shoulder surprised him as he tried to move a bit away from the dark corridor.

— Why don't you just go to your room for a minute and rest a bit, Tim ? It's on the left.

Gibbs raised a hand, showing the stairs, and Tim barely looked at him while he started walking.

— I'm not five, I'd like to think I could go wherever I want.

Tony chuckled nervously at the scene, the duet's sudden confrontation making him really uncomfortable, but Gibbs didn't add anything else…and that was probably what was the worst... If Tim had finally gone upstairs, as they'd all expected him to do, it was still very shocking, and almost admirable somehow, to see him changing that way. None of them liked him to have this kind of behavior, but maybe it was something good, in a way, for him to react like that. Tim had always been so nice, and polite…no one could really know if education and good manners were the only reasons for that, and if he could maybe become another McGee…according to his new situation.

…Tim reached the sink of his room, water falling from the tap to his hands.

 _Some freshness onto his face… That was good._

He then dived a hand in his pocket and took the medical cylinder out of it, opening it quickly after a glance at the door he'd just closed…

 _Why was he even hiding such a detail…?_

Maybe he'd already shown too much weakness…and it was enough for now.

Tim shook his head in front of the mirror, trying to show a natural face.

— _McGee ?_

A voice coming from the stairs…

— Yeah ?

— Ducky's here.

— _What is it now…_ he sighed, heading to downstairs.

 _Here they were._ The three of them…looking at him, as if he was some sick guest they were planning to cure. It was almost humiliating.

— _Timothy…_

— Hey.

— Would you mind following me in the living-room ? I would like to talk to you.

Tim only sighed and took a look at Gibbs before doing so. He could have asked the exact same thing than earlier. And yes…he guessed he had no choice.

 _In the living-room…_

— So, Timothy…

— So…

— It seems like you had earlier some kind of 'denial crisis', if I can call it that way… You were still, somehow, aware that something had changed, you were aware that you had a few days off and needed to rest…but it seemed like your brain decided at some point to _switch off_ , in order to, no doubt about that...forget about the pain.

Tim remained silent and just waited for something…anything. In fact, what could he do except, maybe, nodding at the explanation ?

— Timothy, did you take anything that might have helped you, well…have _accelerated_ the process ? _Before you answer me_ , he quickly added, just remember that there is no trouble, I couldn't blame you for that, and that would not be the primary reason for your brain to have shut down anyway, but…

— Nothing of that kind.

— Alright.

Ducky deeply breathed in and out and stared at Tim with real kindness.

— So I heard the conversation in the car had been quite…

— Inexistent ?

— Well, _yes_...Dr Mallard smiled. Do I understand that your memory showed up again at some point ?

— _Pathetically_ , Tim mumbled.

— Tell me about it ?

— Truth came up to my brain when I did not expect it, just…sitting, while the car was still running. It was a bit painful. _Not much_. I could have felt the same way only remembering late my cousin's birthday.

— Pain is still strong inside you, Timothy, the only difference is that besides the fact that your mind is playing nasty games with you, it still remembers deep down that you've already faced the truth once.

— So should I expect for it to happen again ?

— That is something I am not certain about, Timothy. I can only hope it won't, but I am not in your brain, and therefore won't be the one having to deal with it.

— Can I go now ? Tim finally asked.

— Won't you eat anything before, young lad ?

— I already did earlier, I don't feel that hungry for now.

— Alright, Ducky managed a smile. You're free, then.

Tim walked in the stairs' direction, not really sure why he had lied to him…and he started feeling a bit guilty for a second, before he suddenly heard Gibbs and Tony approach the medical examiner.

 _Yeah…whatever._ He was already forced to stay in here, he hadn't to endure seeing them watching him around a table and check on his food, like a fake family.

 _'Family'…_

 _Another word to forget now._


	13. Chapter 13

— McGee, you awake ? Gibbs asked behind Tim's door.

— Am I that predictable ? he quickly smiled, buttoning his last shirt button. Who brought that ? he asked and looked at the pile of clothes near the bed.

— Tony made a stop at your apartment.

Gibbs sighed and finally dared asking the question. _At least…asking it his own way._

— Is everything clear, McGee ?

— Yes, boss.

 _Please no more questions._

— A cup of coffee ?

— Sure.

— Okay.

Tim bent down a little when he figured he was finally alone, but the pain suddenly wrapped his bone, another groan leaving his mouth.

 _These damn shoes._ He was always forgetting about them.

« Magic pill time… » he thought, taking off the medical box from under his pillow.

The opening sound made him impatient to get his physical comfort back, and he swallowed quickly what had fallen onto his palm, rubbing his head with tiredness.

 _Another sound… What was that ?_

— Hey, Jo' ?

— _Tim ? Where are you ?_

— Wh…what do you mean, 'where I am' ?

— _I thought we were supposed to have lunch together, we discussed about it yesterday in the car…_

— Oh, crap… what time is it ?

— _Almost noon._

— I'm on my way, Jo'. Sorry about that. Pub Jerry, fifteen minutes ?

— _Sure. Bye Tim._

Tim didn't wait for the painkiller effect to work and tied his shoes the best way he could, biting his tongue from time to time under his own movements.

— _McGee, you alright ?_

Tim jumped a bit as he heard the voice, hoping no one had noticed his groans for too long.

— Tony ! I'm glad you're here.

 _Now it was his time to be surprised._

— Uh…really ? It's, uh…I'm glad to be here too, you know, I…

— I need you to give me a ride, would you ?

— Uh, okay…

— You know my car is still parked near my apartment, Tim revealed a pitiful face, and…

— _Sure_ , McGee, I'll give you a ride.

Tim smiled before regretting.

 _Maybe he should have called for a taxi…but no way then he could make it on time…_

He left the real world for a discreet dozen of seconds and deeply thought about it… Maybe it was better going with Tony. _Yes_ , maybe they wouldn't ask questions if he was the one asking for help. They were dying for it, and he perfectly knew it.

— _Tony ?_

— Yes, boss ?

Tony entered the kitchen, the vision of Gibbs with a cup of coffee reassuring him somehow.

— We've just found the man who did the Admiral McGee's injections. One of his neighbors just called us saying he was home.

— I thought he'd been out of town ?

— It seems like he was out a few times, yes. He wasn't very clear about that but he's back now, and I need you and Ziva to pay him a small visit. I know it's Sunday, but…

— _Sure, boss_. I'll do it. Is there…a way then for you to drop him off somewhere ?

— _Who ?_

— McGee.

— McGee has an appointment somewhere ?

— Didn't tell.

— _Well_ , Gibbs sighed, wherever he's going, it might be good for him to be out of this place for a little while, _as long as he's not left alone_. If Ducky doesn't find anything else in the next few days about his parents they'll be prepared for funeral.

— Can he manage everything all by himself…? Tony asked.

— My uncles and aunts are helping me with that, a voice echoed from the other side of the room, before Tim entered the kitchen.

— _McGee…_ Tony jumped. You're ready.

— I'm gonna wait in your car.

— Go, Gibbs quickly pronounced.

Tony threw his keys in his teammate's direction, sorry as hell.

— I'm gonna talk to the Doc with Ziva, Gibbs said once Tim became completely out of sight.

Tony nodded and walked to the exit.

— A second cup ? he noticed before leaving.

— He asked for a coffee.

— McGee's _way_ too polite, Tony sadly chuckled, closing in the end the door of Gibbs' house…

— … _Here we go, McTea._

Tim slowly fastened his seat belt, suddenly noticing that Tony might find it a bit strange.

— What's that name, this time ? he tried to continue the conversation.

— I know you don't like coffee, Probie, Tony smiled.

— Okay…

— _So_ , Tony spoke again as he started the car, leaving what he'd previously considered like his parking place, you have someone to meet ?

— Just a friend.

— Joseph ?

Tim turned his head and stared at Tony with a questioning look.

— How do you know ?

— Ziva only told me he'd given you a ride the other day, _chill out_ , McGee.

— Okay.

Tony kept moving his hands around the steering wheel, before he stopped at a red traffic light.

— I'm glad you have a friend to…to talk about it.

— He's not my only friend, Tony, Tim tried to hide his uneasiness.

— _I mean_ , he cleared his throat, I'm glad you have a friend out of NCIS to…

— It's green, Tony.

Tony sighed as he accelerated, not knowing if it was due to uncomfort or some kind of relief.

He decided to close his mouth for a minute and then only kept driving until they reached the place Tim was supposed to stop to : Pub Jerry.

— _It's here_ , Tim said to Tony, quickly unfastening his seat belt while his teammate was not looking.

It was barely hurting now, but who could know if all these trips weren't damaging it anyway ?

— You need me to come back later ?

— Joseph will do it, but _thanks_ , Tony, Tim said as he opened the door of the vehicle. See you later.

— _Wait_ , McGee !

— _What_ , Tony…Tim sighed, a hand tightening his jacket.

— Remember to come back to Gibbs' place, right ?

— Sure.

— Okay, then. Bye, Tim.

— _Bye…_

Tim crossed the road in order to join the pub and Tony only stared at him for a second, waiting for both men to greet each other, looking somehow for some kind of...confirmation.

— _Hey Jo', sorry I'm late…_

— _What happened to you, Tim ?_

...Tony left the two friends and forced himself to drive away from this place, stopping soon to another red traffic light. He felt the item moving in the pocket of his suit, already regretful for what he had just done...

— I was working on something, Tim spoke and sat onto the wooden bench. So we have a table outside.

— The last one they had, man. That's the cost for being late…

— Weather's not too bad, it's okay, Tim smiled.

…Tony tapped the top of his steering wheel with nervous fingertips, finally noticing the ' _DETOUR'_ sign on the left side of the road.

— _Damn it_ , he mumbled, preparing himself to turn around.

But maybe it wasn't a coincidence. Maybe it was his chance to stop and give back to McGee what really belonged to him, to pretend, maybe, that he had left it in the car.

Tony accelerated a bit again to his destination and slew down when he saw Tim and Joseph talking at their outside table, diving a hand in his pocket, ready to come out of his car.

— _What is…_ he suddenly whispered.

He froze for a second and stared at his friend and teammate with incomprehension.

 _Was it a…_

… _a laugh ?_

Tim seemed so natural and relaxed, almost _happy_ …

Tony rubbed his face and took another look at the scene. Maybe McGee was really having some good time, and… _No_ , he couldn't blame him for having a moment of happiness with everything going on in his life right now…

He observed him again from his car, trying to analyze him...

But it was not only the laugh, or the numerous surprising smiles…his whole body was moving extremely _naturally_ , as if both men over there had the lightest conversation ever…

Tony watched the phone he had stolen from McGee before he'd left, nervous fingers wrapped around it. He pressed the button with hesitation, in order to unlock the screen.

 _A password, of course._

— Don't do that, Tony…he spoke to himself.

 _Still this same nervous movement around the rectangle._

— It's locked anyway, _right_ ? he chuckled.

 _Well. Abby could help with that._

He sighed again inside his car as he tried thinking, way deeper this time, taking a last glance at the so normal men now drinking a beer together…

He dropped Tim's phone onto the passenger seat and started his car, grabbing his own between fingers, dialing Gibbs' number.

— _Tony ?_

— Hi, boss.

— _Is everything alright ? Can you come and join us at NCIS ?_

— On my way, boss.

— _What's wrong, Tony ?_

— How do you…

— _Why don't you just answer the question, Dinozzo._

— Well, I was wondering if… _do you think…_ he swallowed hardly, an eye focused on the road. Can someone who just lost his parents be talking as if nothing had happened at all ?

— _I don't know, Tony, what do you think ?_

Tony sighed and thought about his own past situation. Gibbs knew the answer as well.

— No, boss, I don't think it's normal.

— _Then come now to NCIS._

Tony hung up the phone and sighed for the umpteenth time, taking a glance at McGee's phone.

 _That was it._ He would find Joseph's number.


	14. Chapter 14

— _Hi, Tony !_ Abby jumped inside the lab.

— Hey, Abbs. I need to talk to the Admiral's doc, but first I'd like you to do something for me.

Tony dived a hand in his pocket, revealing…

— _McGee's phone !_ Abby almost shout. Ow ! Sorry…she apologized as she lessened the volume of her lab music. Tony, she spoke again, what are you doing in here with Tim's phone ?

— I just need you to unlock it in order to give me the number of someone.

— And that someone _is_ …? Abby asked suspiciously.

— Someone called Joseph. There shouldn't be a lot of them in the list, but I think they might have texted each other, if that helps. _Listen_ , Abbs, Tony added when he saw the judging eyes staring at him, I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think it was important.

— Promise me, she finally said, raising her little finger.

Tony shortly smiled and crossed his finger around hers, waiting for her palm to open up.

— Just _one_ number, Abby, then you can lock the phone again.

— Alright, Tony.

— You're the best, I'm coming back.

Tony kissed her cheek like Gibbs was usually doing and then headed to the elevator, ready for the interrogation room. Someone would soon have to pay for his crimes…

…Gibbs watched Tony coming and opened the door without a word, the room revealing a tired man onto a chair.

— Good afternoon, Dr…Felmand, Gibbs pronounced the name as he reread the file.

— Sirs, I…

— _Agent Gibbs_ , Jethro corrected.

— And Dinozzo.

— Alright, Agent Gibbs, the man stuttered a bit, the conversation making him nervous, can you tell me _why_ I am here ? I just went back from a…

— …seminary, we already know that, Tony coldly said. You seem to go a lot to these kind of things, these days…

— It's true that I've been called a couple of times, but…he trembled a bit. The seminary was taking place during my first absence, not...

— _First_ absence ? Tony questioned him.

— Do you know this man, Dr Felmand, Gibbs kept asking while he put an official picture of the Admiral in front of him.

— But cer…certainly, he is one of my patients, I have to provide care to him because of a…a spasmodic torticollis.

Gibbs and Dinozzo stared at each other in silence. The man might have had troubles speaking clearly, he wasn't hiding at all the fact that he knew the Admiral.

— It was becoming quite hard for him... _for us,_ to deal with the situation these last few weeks, the man continued nervously, he didn't need to change a lot of his habits, but I was usually advising him to take a few days of rest between the injections, something quite hard for him, I know, with all his responsibilities... We planned first to do the injection at the beginning of the month, but then I was called for this seminary. I don't usually have the time for these kind of events, but this one needed me to make a speech about some of my previous researches, something I couldn't refuse…

— Didn't you think it was strange ?

— Well, no…the man briefly looked offended, a lot of people of my profession can be called for…

— When was it ? Gibbs interrupted him.

— _Uh…_ about two, maybe three weeks ago. A really important one, so I tried planning another appointment for the Admiral McGee before I left, but we couldn't pick the perfect day, he always was extremely busy.

— Did he say why ?

— No.

— _So ?_ Tony insisted.

— He just told me he had to be somewhere, too, on the different days I was asking him to come, and that he couldn't wait for me to return, so I advised him one of my best colleagues, Dr Hoopridge.

— _Really ?_ Tony asked. And do you know, Dr Felmand, that your best colleague might have killed your patient ?

— Wh…what ? No ! _I…_ The Admiral was still alive after the appointment. We even spoke on the phone ! But then…

— _Then what ?_ Gibbs asked.

Dr Felmand's forehead begun sweating as he talked, both agents staring at him in this awful, dark room.

— He told me he was feeling some symptoms, like…nausea, migraine… _it's very common !_ he tried to reassure them. But he seemed surprised to feel them that much.

— What did you think ?

— I knew the Admiral had a lot of responsibilities, and as everyone he was getting older, so I thought his body might have been less receptive to the treatment... Injections aren't usually the kind of treatment the patients choose first, but it's the best, and the Admiral wanted the best from the beginning. _Anyway_ , he continued, Gibbs and Tony still suspiciously observing him, I had to let some time in between before giving him a new injection, especially after what he'd been feeling, so we both checked our timetables and made a new appointment, a few days ago.

— But ?

— On that day I've been unfortunately called for an emergency, and the Admiral couldn't pick another day at all, so…

— So you asked your nice colleague again to do the job for you.

— Listen, _Agent Gibbs…Agent Dinozzo…_ he added, as if begging for support. I've known Doctor Hoopridge for more than fifteen years now, we work for the _same_ people, in the _same_ building…we both know emergencies can show up and we're always both ready to help each other. I'll do anything possible to help you, but you have to trust me…

— What was the emergency for ?

— A bunch of Marines, they…

But Gibbs begun to laugh, the funny expression on his face making him somehow look scarier.

— Did he just say a ' _bunch_ ' of Marines ? Jethro kept laughing, looking at Tony who chuckled in return.

— _I'm sorry_ , Agent Gibbs, the Dr Felmand reacted instantly, that's not what I meant to say, he swallowed hardly, but…they only told me that it was Secret Defense, so I couldn't have any access to my phone, or anything else.

— And you didn't think it was strange ? Tony coldly asked.

— Agent Dinozzo, we work with a lot of important people out there, so we know we're not exempted from receiving a call at any moment…

Gibbs suddenly shook his head in Tony's direction and walked to the door, his agent by his side.

— What do you think, boss ? What about the double cancelled appointments ?

— It's seems like they missed a few medical opportunities, these days…

— You think someone working with the Admiral could have planned everything ? So _what_ , he smiled emotionlessly, they all decided to play some kind of Chinese whispers game, therefore someone could be there while the other one is missing, and so on ?

— I don't know, Tony, but it seems more than likely that someone knew _exactly_ the few Admiral's availabilities, and someone knew _exactly_ when to cancel them.

— _Rule number 39 ?_ Tony sighed.

A nod.

— No coincidences…Tony uselessly detailed. Yeah, I think I agree with you on that point, boss.

— So let's find that Dr Hoopridge, Gibbs added. Go to my place, Tony, and check on Tim, would you ? I guess he might be home by now.

— Alright, boss.

Tony went down to the lab before leaving and entered for the second time of the day this world of extremely loud music.

— What are you doing here, by the way, Abbs ?

— _Tony !_ she smiled. A lot of work to do, and I don't like Sundays at home. They're… _depressing._

— I know that feeling, he chuckled and took a look at Abby's fully black outfit.

And she was saying ' _Sundays'_ were depressing ?

— Did you unlock the phone ?

— It only took me a minute or two. I wrote down the number for you. _I do hope it's important_ , Abby warned before giving the phone back to Tony, I don't like the idea of sticking my nose like that in McGee's life.

— Thanks, Abbs. See you later.

— _Curse is flying over us…!_ she sincerely shouted as Tony finally left her space, moving arms and fingers like a pale ghost looking for a prey…

…Tony left the building, dialing Joseph's number on his phone.

 _Was it a really good idea ?_

He sighed and momentarily thought of Gibbs. _Yeah_ , his guts were telling him something, so he was probably right. He needed to _try_ something. He walked to his car and nervously sat in it, starting the vehicle…

— _Hello ?_

— Hi, Joseph Menler ?

— _Who is it ?_

— I am…McGee's co-worker, Tony continued. It seems like Tim has forgotten his phone when he left this morning, and I was wondering if you knew where he was ? I heard you two were seeing each other today.

— _Oh, I just dropped him to his apartment. About, I don't know…half an hour ago ? I had to leave early._

Tony slowly breathed in at the news.

 _So the feeling was right. McGee was lying._

— To his apartment ? Tony asked, naturally.

— _Well, yes_ , Joseph's voice chuckled. _I mean, there's only one I know !_

— Yeah, _sure_ , Tony chuckled back. Alright, thanks a lot, Joseph, and sorry again for bothering you, I'll bring back Tim's phone to his place, then.

— _Uh...you have a key or something ?_ the voice gently laughed. _I'd advise you to maybe drop it in his mailbox. Tim didn't drink that much today, but I guess the combo was not ideal, with his treatment. My bad. I guess he might be sleeping now, poor man._

— Treatment ? Tony suddenly reacted.

— _Yeah, I..._ the man said before pausing. _Listen, I'm really sorry, but my meeting is about to start, I really do have to go...maybe I can call you back later ?_

— It's alright, thank you for your help, Joseph, he faked a smile.

— _No problem at all, bye._

— Bye.

Tony hung up the phone and suddenly decelerated, the traffic light turning red at the end of the empty street. He quickly hit the brakes and violently pushed his hand against the steering wheel.

— _DAMN IT!_ he cursed himself.


	15. Chapter 15

Tony unfastened his seat belt and slammed the door of his car, walking fast in Gibbs' house direction.

— McGee ? he spoke, reaching the entrance. McGee, you're in here ?

 _No answer._

— McGee ! he insisted, heading now to his current room.

A worried anger slowly begun taking control of his body, and he felt his arms tremble as he started looking for anything, anything that could prove another stupid lie... _But was it Tim's fault ?_

Could he _really_ blame him ? Could he really blame someone who'd just lost his parents for... _reacting_ ?

Maybe the situation was only driving him insane, and him only. Maybe he just didn't want to remember how it felt...to lose someone.

And now that he could lose someone else too... _yeah_ , maybe it was his excuse to turn crazy...

— _Focus_ , Tony, he told himself.

He quickly looked between Tim's clothes before moving the bedsheets and blanket. _This was ridiculous…_ He had no idea of what he was really looking for…but he still knew deep down there was something else to find. That previous call had _proved_ it.

He ultimately lifted Tim's pillow, wondering if he'd ever find something…

— What…

 _Painkillers. With Tim's name on it. So a real prescription, Joseph had been right._

But for what ?

— _Dinozzo ?_

— Hi, boss, any idea that McGee was taking painkillers ?

— _For what ?_

— I don't know, boss, I'm not an expert, he groaned.

Tony kept his phone between shoulder and ear, touching bedsheets again for no logical reason. Maybe he was only trying to put back the blanket the way it was…in order to find again the things he knew…the way they used to be.

— _Tony !_

— Sorry, boss, say that again ?

Now it was his time to groan...

 _— Where are you, Dinozzo ?_ Gibbs repeated.

— Your place.

— _And where is McGee, still with his friend ?_

— His apartment. I think.

He could perfectly picture Gibbs furrowing his brow.

— _What ? Why would he be there, Tony ? And then why are you still at my place ?_

— I don't know, boss, I had a…I _have_ a feeling.

— _And what do you feel ?_

— I feel he's gonna come back. In fact, I'm not even sure he _ever_ really stopped at his apartment. But I'll explain later.

— _I'm coming home when I'm finished. Call me if you need any help._

— Okay, boss... Are Ziva and Abby still at NCIS ?

— _They must be with Ducky right now._

— Okay.

No. He'd thought speaking a bit about work would keep him away from worrying, but that was definitely useless... Maybe he should just stop talking.

— _And, Tony ?_

— Yes, boss ?

— _I know you're trying your best, and he'll figure it out, too, eventually._

— Thanks, boss.

Tony desperately rubbed his face and slowly headed downstairs, feeling a bit calmer and ready to wait the time he'll need to wait, but someone suddenly opened the door at this very moment, revealing a tired face and a quite drunk body.

— Oh, hi, Tony…Tim lowly articulated.

— Feeling alright, McGee ? A bit _dizzy_ , maybe ? Tony gritted his teeth.

 _'Oh shut up, Tony...'_ he thought. But he couldn't help it.

— Yeah…Tim sighed and weirdly smiled, the beats of his heart strangely accelerating under his skin.

 _Bad combo, indeed. He didn't feel very well._

 _— I…_ I might have taken a few drinks, but...come on, it's Friday.

— _Sunday_ , McGee. It's Sunday.

— Sunday…sorry, Tim raised a hand to his mouth, trying to hide the nausea that was coming up to his throat.

— Yeah, right…Tony mumbled, trying to keep himself out of something he might regret.

But Tim looked so miserable behind this unwanted drunkenness, still standing in the entrance as if no one had invited him to come in yet.

 _'No, Tony,_ he thought again, _don't do that_...

But he couldn't help it.

— You know what, McGee ?

Tim raised an eyebrow.

— I bet you barely got one drink, Tony continued, probably the beer I've seen you drink before I left.

— Okay, I'm going to bed, Tim managed to say as he finally started walking in the stairs' direction, before a hand gently stopped him.

Tim felt like he just got his ego bruised by the interdiction but he didn't reveal anything else than a visible growing angriness, his jawbone hurting as he was now ready to fight back if necessary.

 _— Move_ , Tony, he slowly ordered.

Tony sighed and was about to free the stairs' access when he saw a glimpse of what he had already seen into Tim's eyes, that recent awful day when his friend had realized the new terrible reality of his life, wondering why he always had to be the bad guy when he obviously didn't want to be. _No, he didn't need to be._

Maybe if he was just trying one more time to talk to him...

— Hey...McGee, if you need help for anything, _I..._ you know, you shouldn't keep that for yourself...he sighed another time when he watched the deep sadness in his eyes, I mean you don't need to tell me anything important, _whatever you want_ , but maybe the simple fact of _talking_ could...

— I don't need your help, Tony, I just want you to move !

 _That was so not McGee..._

Tony deeply breathed in and out, trying to avoid his own thoughts... He didn't want to do that. _Not twice._ But McGee was angry and trying to hide behind his own denial, and he needed someone else to blame for the misery of his life, at least for now…in order to let it out and keep facing the truth.

— What did you just say, McGee ? Tony slowly asked.

Tim deeply breathed in and out.

— I said ' _move_ ', Tony, he repeated.

— I'd be glad to do so, but maybe you need some of them before heading upstairs ? Tony suddenly questioned him and showed him the cylinder he'd found.

Tim's face turned a bit red as the dizziness seemed to vanish completely from his brain, and Tony could see the angriness coming up, Tim raising a hand to the box.

— Where did you get that, Tony !

— Where is it, Tim, _uh_ ? Tony asked as he quickly begun touching his legs and arms, his teammate stepping back with deep uneasiness and resentment. Elbow ? Knee ? Shoulder, maybe ? No...no, we would have seen some medical stuff in here, he pointed a finger at the body part.

Tim lowered both his eyebrows and stepped a bit back again, still heavily breathing in and out.

— _Ah…_ Tony sighed with a strange smile. Then that might be the rib… _why_ , Tim ? _Why_ didn't you tell us anything about that ?

— Ever heard of doctor-patient privilege ? he almost shouted. _Guess what_ , Tony ? _I_ am the patient, _I_ have the right to say what _I_ want to say to whoever _I_ want !

Tony gave up and threw the medical recipient at Tim, who clumsily caught it, before raising his friend's phone. Tim's breakdown wasn't far now, he could feel it... He uselessly palpated his jacket, wondering how his phone could have ended up with Tony.

— What is it now, Tony ? _What_ , do you have a _whole_ collection of all my belongings ?

— Nice friend of yours, that Joseph, Tony weirdly smiled again, secretly desperate to the bone.

Tim felt as if he was about to explode, pointing, in turn, a finger at him.

— _You…didn't !_ he finally said as he approached his colleague, Tony now almost confronting him face to face.

— I do accept to believe that you have a very good friend to cheer you up, Timmy, Tony said and took a last step forward, but he still seems too funny for someone with a mourning buddy by his side, if you want my opinion.

— I couldn't care less about your opinion, Tony…Tim slowly pronounced, tears of anger ready to come out.

— McGee…did you even tell him what just happened to you ? Tony tried to calm himself. He seems to be a good friend of yours, I think he has the right to know. He could be here for you too...

But Tim didn't mind about getting his phone back…or anything else. He only turned back and then walked to the door, about to press the handle.

— Pass this door, McGee, and the whole police is after you, Tony immediately threatened him, reluctantly.

Tim suddenly froze and tried to pronounce something, but hard thoughts were devouring his last existing words as Tony had interrupted him, and he seemed then to be feeling too lost to take such a risky decision.

Tony felt secretly glad but only raised his own phone to his ear, facing Tim as if he was holding a gun in front of him.

 _'You're doing everything wrong again..._ Tony sighed and thought. _Everything wrong..._ '

If only Gibbs was here to slap him. For once he deserved it.

— Boss ? It's me.

— _Yes, Tony ?_

— I think I need you now. And bring Ducky.


	16. Chapter 16

— Do you mind if I examine you, Timothy ? Ducky gently asked, taking off his hat.

— Sure…

 _What else did he have to lose anyway._

— What are you looking for ? Tim questioned him.

— Oh…nothing specific, Timothy, nothing specific, Ducky kept smiling, your other doctors already did everything they needed to do, no, I just want to check your pulse, your vitals, this kind of little things…

— Okay.

Ducky did what he said he would do, a professional eye kept on Tim's face, respectfully silent and discreetly worried as he was so used to be and famous for. Maybe he had seen too many dead people in his life, and maybe he had talked too much to them to become talkative with the living.

— What's wrong, Ducky ?

Ducky raised his face a little higher as he heard Tim's words coming out of his mouth, knowing he might only be caring about results but still surprised to be the one he'd asked the question to.

— Oh, _nothing_ , Timothy, I can feel a bit of nervousness in here but let's say there's nothing dangerous for now. Actually…I was only thinking I was being a little selfish.

— What about it ?

Tim couldn't hide his curiosity, Ducky's name and this adjective in the same sentence not making any sense to his mind.

— Well, the medical examiner pronounced as he approached Tim a bit closer, I think I was wishing that you could talk to me. About anything, in fact, but just talk to me. But then I am being unfair as I can guess you don't feel like it at all.

Tim could remember Tony asking him the same thing only a minute ago…was it some kind of stupid intervention they were planning to make or was everyone so clever that they'd all thought about telling him the same useless things ?

But maybe he could talk a bit with Ducky, after all… Well, Ducky was from NCIS too. _But Ducky was Ducky._

— I am aware that we are rushing you, Timothy, the voice suddenly echoed inside the room, Tim only realizing now that he had closed his eyes...

— I feel like it happened already months ago, he surprisingly reacted and spoke, opening them again.

Maybe the intimacy of the dialogue. Maybe because they were only the two of them.

 _Maybe because he was Ducky._

— You usually feel that way when you haven't seen your best friend for a while, when, I don't know...you hate the new work you just had to accept, or when you start a diet…he sadly chuckled. I should feel better somehow just thinking I've still seen them a few days ago instead of way more, but I don't know…it seems like they died an eternity ago.

 _'Died'_...that was hard to pronounce. And harder to admit.

Ducky put a hand on his shoulder, respectfully smiling at him.

— Can I tell you something ?

Tim faced Ducky with tired eyes, allowing him to go on with the conversation thanks to a simple nod.

— We are rushing you, Timothy, I can tell that, _and it might be wrong_ , but I think we are doing it because we're scared of what could happen to you. I know what you think…with all the missions you have at NCIS, or the simple fact of crossing the road…of course, anything is possible, but in your situation, we're scared that it might be _different_.

— And how could it be ? Tim sincerely asked.

— We think that you could _hurt_ yourself…and that's a different risk.

Tim didn't add a thing and only stared at the wall in front of him...

 _What could he say ?_

He tried to articulate something...but no, there was nothing to say. _Nothing important enough._

— As you must have seen, everyone is reacting quite differently. These two rude lads over there…he smilingly pointed at Tony and Gibbs, both talking in the other room, seem to have troubles choosing between confrontation and silence…concerning Abby, she has a lot of work to do, but you know she could kill you with kindness if she was here, the _strongest_ weapon in the world, even, maybe, hysterically talk about the weather while you'd be here alone, facing darkness…

— Ziva was nice to me, Tim interrupted Dr Mallard.

— I'm sure she was...he smiled again and paused. But even then I'm quite certain that you've been very surprised by that, I guess she knows how to be cold when she needs to protect herself.

— _Definitely._

— And Mr Palmer, what about him... He might be spending some big time with me downstairs, and you all might not be seeing him a lot in general, but _he_ was the one insisting and telling me that I should leave, solemny promising that he would take care of everything.

— I thought he didn't like me. _I mean_ , Tim corrected instantly, it's not that, but…as you said, we don't have a lot of opportunities to see him during the week, so I don't know…I just guessed he didn't really care.

— _Life…_ Ducky smiled for the umpteenth time. Life is full of surprises, _you see_ , Timothy ? You could have some other real good friend down there.

— Yeah, I guess you're right.

— But what I really mean is : what is worst is not people doing strange things, no, what is worst is people doing nothing at all.

Tim sighed with despair. Ducky was, again, extremely right. But still, he was feeling too bad to say something important enough.

— Jethro lost a wife and kid, and so many other men…Tony lost his mother a long time ago…I am not saying that their mutual behaviors have always been the best, but I think they understand you better than they would have expected it, and therefore they feel desperately lost facing your new situation. They might be even more scared than you actually are.

Tim took a quick look at Tony and Gibbs, wishing they hadn't noticed, then back at the wall…

 _Why did people have to die ?_

— Ziva has been through a lot too...he finally lowly pronounced. I never heard her complain, not once. And still, she's been so good to me at the hospital.

 _'Hospital'_. He didn't like this word neither.

— And there's no sign for it to change, young lad, as long as you'll need her. I think Ziva has faced so much darkness in her life that she can only remain true to herself…or completely show the opposite : amazing softness.

Tim sincerely chuckled for a second, almost tenderly, now staring at the man in front of him.

— How can you do that, Ducky ?

 _He seemed really interested._

— What do you mean, Timothy ?

— _This_... All of this, Tim slowly raised both arms in the air, showing the invisible. How can you be so aware of everything…please do not be offended, but you're spending most of your time with dead people, so it seems hard to imagine that you…

Ducky lowly chuckled and didn't let Tim finish his explanation.

— _This_ , my dear Timothy, has nothing to do with my profession, even if I do like the idea of such a complex anecdote…

— What is it, then ?

— It's… _life_.

Now Ducky seemed to be seeing it, too, for a second, quickly looking at the invisible Tim had previously gesticulated into.

— You know, life makes you terribly old but teach you a lot about human beings... Knowledge is a _power_ , Timothy. It gives you experience and makes you…wiser, if I can dare ?

— I think you can, Tim smiled.

— That's what I wanted to see again, Ducky said and smiled back at him. That very tiny, but still _existing_ , glimpse of happiness...

Tim didn't react to that and only hoped for his facial expression to stay a bit the way it was. The logical part of his brain was blaming him for showing such a feeling in such a hard situation, but the heart that was slowly bumping under his skin and desperately trying to survive was telling him to forget about his complain for a second and simply live in the moment.

' _I'm glad you're seeing one'_ he thought.

But he didn't say it aloud.

He didn't want to be this kind of guy. Not now. _Especially not after this beautiful conversation._


	17. Chapter 17

— How is he, Ducky ?

— We had a really nice chat, that is something I can tell you.

— Better than nothing, Gibbs commented.

— Better than nothing, indeed. I advised him to take some rest, so if the two of you don't need me anymore, I might be freeing Mr Palmer from work…

— Thanks, Ducky. I'm sure McGee appreciated it.

As Ducky nodded and headed back to the room, Tony took a quick glance at the stairs and then finally faced Gibbs.

— It's all my fault, boss, I've tried pushing him too hard, I know I shouldn't have…

— They'll probably be some other days like that, Tony, so you'd better be prepared…

Tony waited for him to slap him…or the end of the sentence.

— …and I don't think you managed things that bad.

— _What ?_

Gibbs finally raised a hand and gently, but surely hit Tony's head.

— _Wh…_ so did I do something wrong ? I thought I…

— No, Gibbs sighed. That's because you pretend that you didn't hear me when I said you were good.

— _Well..._ Tony hesitated, repeating the whole sentence in his head, even for you, this is quite a long and complex reason, boss…

He saw the palm ready to move again.

—… _but_ I should learn from you, Tony immediately continued, as you're my boss, and…and you are full of surprises ! he revealed a wide open mouth, praying deep down for forgiveness.

— Good, Gibbs slowly tapped his palm against Tony's shoulder, before moving to the exit. Because he obviously needed someone to blame, and you didn't have to do that for him, but you did it anyway.

— Who wouldn't in such a situation ? I mean…if you start only blaming yourself, then that's the end of it.

Gibbs nodded and pressed the handle.

— Any news of that Dr Hoopridge ? Tony added.

— Nope. But we keep Dr Felmand for the night, he might remember something that could help us.

— I guess his lawyer won't be glad, Tony tensely chuckled.

— I don't care about lawyers, Gibbs expectedly commented before leaving, closing the door behind him.

Tony watched Gibbs and Ducky's shadows disappear from the house and then decided to sit down anywhere for a while, needing to think, or… _not to think._

He silently walked to the first stair and heavily sat on it, all the misery of the world seeming to weigh on him like a burden he wanted to carry but had never needed to in the first place, facing now all alone the bitterness of human mistakes' consequences, cruel, irreversible situations… Maybe he should get back to work and let Tim all by himself. _What…_ letting Tim all by himself ? No way.

Tony sighed with desperation….he couldn't stay in here forever, even if he'd wanted to. He had a job. _Everyone had a job._

 _But…_

Tony slapped his own head, stupidly jumping under his own blow, hoping it might help him…

It was _not_ helping.

He dived his fingers between some locks of his hair, wondering how things would turn up in the future… Why did it have to happen ? He wished there was something he could do in order to recreate the past… But he wasn't in the middle of a movie, with his favorite character by his side whispering him what to do, and he couldn't show weakness when he already had to take care of McGee…otherwise they'd be too many problems to solve at once… And it wouldn't do any good to anyone.

So he stayed where he was for quite a long time, a time he hadn't expected to be that long, if he had to be honest, but he didn't feel like moving physically when he already felt that powerless in general. Silence was now completely filling the space, sadly and peacefully, something he couldn't really explain… Then he started feeling the warmth pressing against his facial blood vessels, taking a sweet control of his cheeks, and under his eyes…he pushed a necessary fist onto his lips, his skin now beginning to painfully inflate, as if about to explode, when his phone unexpectedly rang, interrupting his own breakdown.

— Abby ?

— _Hey, you're still at Gibbs' place ?_

— Yeah, why ?

Now his skin was burning a bit less.

— _Gibbs told me I could leave and replace you…well, not 'replace' like a replacement for watching a criminal or something, but…_

— Sure, Abbs, Tony stopped her, smiling a bit at the 'so Sciuto' conversation style. You're gonna be okay ?

— _My work is almost done, nothing urgent, really, and I'll still have time to focus on it when McGee will fall asleep._

— Okay, take care of him, then. I'm waiting for you.

There was no need for jokes. Not today…

…Tony headed to his apartment after Abby had come to Gibbs' house, not knowing if he should have said something to Tim, maybe 'Goodbye', or…

 _Whatever_ , he was already in front of his own door, it was a bit too late to think about that right now... He turned the key in the lock and slowly entered his place, knowing exactly where to go first, taking out a whisky glass from the beautiful wooden furniture, pouring the blessing drink into the recipient he'd just chosen…

 _That felt good._

He took another sip and walked then to the sofa near the piano, heavily sitting on it as he felt the same burden than earlier weighing on his tired shoulders again.

 _Another sip. It would help._

Why wasn't it helping yet ! he thought after only a few seconds, getting terribly impatient. He clenched a fist and felt the warmth coming up again to his face, the unfairness that was staining his heart making the taste of his drink horribly bitter… He swallowed the rest of his whisky and nervously threw the glass away, barely noticing the broken pieces of it flying to a corner of the room.

 _A knock._

— _Not now...!_ he lowly complained before standing up, unable to know if he was addressing it to anyone in particular.

He rubbed his face in order to hide the pain and walked to his door, hoping it wouldn't take long, whoever would be standing behind it.

— Hi, boss…? he greeted him as well as he questioned him.

— Hi, Tony.

Gibbs' face didn't seem worried, as usual...this time he was only naturally raising both eyebrows, as if he'd been some kind of dumb nice guy next door, but Tony could feel he'd noticed the redness of his face. Gibbs was like God, he always knew _everything_.

— Can I come inside ?

— Sure…

— _So, what ?_ Gibbs said, standing in the middle of the room, you give me a drink, or will I have to ask for it ?

— _I…_ I thought you were the one giving whisky to visitors in your basement, Tony funnily smiled, I didn't expect to see you again today. Don't you have another boat to build ? he added, before interrupting his own joke. Oh, _wait_ , don't walk in here, there was some… _well_ , some little incident.

— How unfortunate…Gibbs uselessly commented while Tony grabbed two new glasses and filled them with strong liquid.

Tony discreetly rolled his eyes. Here it was, the dumb nice guy. _Again…_

They both sat and Gibbs silently drank first, observing the quiet space as if something important was missing... Tony didn't try to talk about it and only drank, in turn, what he had between fingers.

— No music, tonight, Tony ? Gibbs simply asked.

— Boss, don't do that, okay ? Tony nervously tried to smile.

But there was nothing else in the glass, he had just drank it all... Nothing else to hide behind, now. Just the warmth again, and Gibbs' eyes staring at him...and humidity around his own… He felt his facial skin inflate again and again as he tried a few times to make it stop, fist solidly clenched against his mouth, but it was starting to be very hard to…

— Tony ? Gibbs stopped his numerous actions.

— _I…_ I don't want to…he raised both confused arms in the air, as if half part of his body was refusing to move.

— Will you listen to me ?

— It's not that, boss, _I…_ Tony hardly managed to say, swallowing as he could the sadness that was desperately trying to come up.

— _Tony..._ Gibbs slowly ordered. Just let it out.

But Tony remained silent for a new dozen of seconds, wishing he could still hold his tears back... It wasn't about being a man, but being an agent...he shouldn't show...but it was definitely too hard and obviously not worth a try. So when he felt his agent was ready, Gibbs pressed both palms around his shoulders and helped him a bit to stand up, slowly wrapping his arms around Tony's now shaking neck and soul.

— Let it out, Dinozzo, Gibbs lowly repeated, raising his hand behind Tony's head...gently pushing it in his own direction.


	18. Chapter 18

— I'm sorry, boss…

— Don't apologize, Tony, it's…

— I know, boss. But look at me. I don't even need to say anything to look like a disappointment.

— Why don't you talk to me, Dinozzo ?

Tony closed his eyes and sighed, walking a few steps to the piano...

— I know it's very recent, boss, and that's awful, but, I don't know, I think what affects me so much is…the whole thing.

— The whole thing ?

— Yeah, it's not just about two dead people, they're McGee's… I know there is no right answer, boss, but still, it's not like to have one of your parents sick, and having some time to say goodbye, _he…_ he's seen his parents die in the accident he survived, and now he has to fight between resentment and some wrong feeling of guiltiness, remembering that death wasn't even accidental ? I'm so mad, Gibbs, I can't believe it's true, _I…_ Boss…Tony sighed as Gibbs kept looking at him, I'm so helpless. How can you survive seeing your family dying and knowing it wasn't even from natural cause ?

He brusquely paused and desperately tried looking somewhere else, his own words repeating themselves inside his brain… _Stupid question._ If he had not technically seen it, Gibbs had definitely already known that feeling… An awkward silence expectedly filled the space again as Jethro seemed unable to comment, but a phone suddenly miraculously rang in Gibbs' pocket, both men now discreetly sighing in relief.

— Abby ?

— _Hey, Gibbs !_ the voice echoed from the speaker.

— Any news from Dr Hoopridge ?

— _Well, yes and no…_

— What about the phone number Dr Felmand gave us ?

— _Well, no news about that, this phone is still off, but…_

Gibbs furrowed his eyebrows.

— 'This' phone ?

— _Yeah, yeah, but it's not the most important for now, listen…_

— So what, Abby ?

— _He just used his other credit card in a gas station, boss, it seems like he is in the middle of nowhere, so if he ran out of cash, it might have been his last resort and his reason for doing so._

— _McGee ?_ Tony whispered, inaudibly.

Jethro didn't give a comment about the voice's owner, but both Tony and him couldn't believe theirs ears when they heard Tim speaking...but Gibbs remained neutral, as usual, so Tony figured they'd just wait for the end of the conversation.

— His 'other' credit card ?

— Is this guy nuts ? Tony added. Why using a credit card after several days of silence ? That's an incredible risk.

— _Well_ , Tim continued, _we are the nuts ones… Sorry, boss._

That was the McGee they knew.

— Meaning ?

— _The thing is that Abby checked all his accounts when we thought he might have been paid for…_

— _The murder_ , Abby helped with the sentence.

— _Hem_ , y _es, b...but we didn't find anything._

 _—_ I know that, Gibbs started to be impatient, not knowing if it's was due to the case or to Tim speaking on the phone about his dead father instead of taking time for mourning.

 _— Yes, but tonight we noticed he had another ID : James Dulling._

 _— That's how we realized he had used his credit card. Well, his 'James Dulling' credit card._

 _—_ And the money ?

— _Jackpot, Gibbs,_ Abby smiled _. He's been receiving a transfer on the exact same day, and that's enough for starting a new life._

 _— Now we're trying to trace the account to know where the money is coming from._

 _—_ If we find it, we find the guy who hired him, Tony nodded and seriously stared at Gibbs.

— _Well, all I can say, Gibbs_ , Abby finally added, _is that that Dr Hoopridge must have had contacts in high places, because our system didn't find his double ID right away. In fact, if Tim hadn't helped me cracking it, I'm not even sure we would have find it. This is a complete mystery guy : different name, different credit card, even different car…_

Gibbs rolled his eyes with exasperation, Tim's vocal presence still atrociously disturbing him. So that was the cost for working on a personal case…everyone was involved and he had no real power over it. But what was really worrying him now what that there was a real problem with national security.

— Of course, Tony finally joined the conversation, taking a look at Gibbs, and then at the phone, as if both his other teammates were here, too, in the room. Boss, if someone working closely with the Admiral, who perfectly knew his timetable, hired Dr Hoopridge for…

He stopped in the middle of his sentence, remembering that Tim was, if not directly in front of him, still on the phone.

— _If someone was placed high enough to work with him_ , Tim surprisingly continued and saved him from uneasiness, _then it might have been easy for him to make Dr Hoopridge's second ID 'Secret Defense'._

— So what, we can't trust the Navy anymore ? Tony asked.

— Not always, Gibbs sighed.

— _So is Dr what's-his-name just a bad actor ?_

— Not that bad, obviously…Gibbs neutrally commented.

Tony heard the heavy knock on the door, turning his head in its direction, except it wasn't coming from his own.

— _Pizza Time !_ Abby's voice turned crazy, as usual. _Tim, would you mind going down to take them ? It's already paid._

— _Okay, Abbs._

The strange threesome remained silent for a second, the time for Tim to go away, before Gibbs opened his mouth again and finally spit it out.

— Abby…

— _Yes, Gibbs, I know… Tomorrow, eight o' clock, firing squad._

— What are you doing, Abby, he needs to stay out of it !

— _But_ _it's helping him, Gibbs…! And he was the one asking to help me, and I think it keeps him busy…_

Jethro rolled his eyes again.

— _And don't you dare rolling your eyes to what I say ! I know Tim, and I couldn't have cracked the system all by myself, or at least not that fast ! You want to catch the bad guy, right ? She insisted after Jethro's obvious lack of reaction._

— So, Gibbs paused for a second, I guess people are already on the way ? he sighed.

— _Of course, do you think I'm that stupid ? Director Vance already sent agents to the last location, it's like far, far away, Gibbs...but he'd just vanished when they arrived. But…_ she audibly smiled while Tony and Gibbs begun heading to the door, _the guy at the gas station remembered the color and the make of his vehicle…and they found him !_

— Abby…Jethro sighed, a hand ready to press the handle.

— _They'll be here early tomorrow, and he'll completely be ready for you, Gibbs ! But for now we have to trace that bank account. Our mystery guy could decide not to say anything when we see him, or maybe he's never even seen the one who made the payment. Well, Tim is coming back !_ she immediately whispered. _So please, just let me enjoy my last meal before you start killing me tomorrow._


	19. Chapter 19

Gibbs quickly entered the bullpen, dark coffee in one hand. Last night had been short. _Very short._ Tony followed behind with a serious expression on his face, ready to kill if necessary.

Gibbs walked to the examination room without a word, eyes still focused on his goal, body and mind extremely prepared for an interesting conversation.

— Good morning, Dr Hoopridge…Jethro greeted him with deep neutrality as he dropped his file on the table, taking a glance at the duet. Or maybe you prefer Mr Dulling, just let me know what would be more suitable for your prison record. I can't believe it…he added and chuckled, facing the woman near the man.

That suit might have been expensive.

— You hired a lawyer, _really_ ? he asked his new accused.

 _No answer_.

— And you ? You like defending criminals in your free time ?

— Mrs Valenmith, Agent Gibbs, the woman quickly smiled at him, nice to meet you too. My client has done nothing wrong, he's been roughly arrested in the middle of nowhere and driven to NCIS at night…

— 'Roughly' ? Gibbs chuckled. Like he's been beaten up or something ? And I missed that ?

— My client is working with very important people, the advocate continued, and can be called anytime for any sensible mission, and for his own safety, the existence of a second Top Secret Identity should not at all have been revealed publicly…

— Where did the money come from ? Gibbs carelessly asked, interrupting the talk he was considering useless.

— Again, the secrecy, Agent Gibbs, of my client's missions doesn't…

— There is no such mission, Mrs Valenmith, Jethro disdainfully stopped her again, now showing an official picture of the Admiral to the guilty man in front of him. We have an official statement of one of your colleagues, testifying you'd been the one replacing him for the Admiral's treatment. _Twice_.

— Did Mr Felmand really did see my client doing so or only thought my client had been continuing the Admiral McGee's treatment ? If I'm not wrong, Agent Gibbs, I heard that your 'witness' had been missing a couple of times, and giving an instruction to someone doesn't mean you've seen that someone following that instruction.

So now she was stupidly playing with him, using simple words against him like a five-year-old kid. He took two documents out of his file, now revealing the dead, cold bodies, and violently pushed them onto the silver table, one by one.

— _You've murdered two people, a man from the Navy and his wife, both parents and residents of the United States, do you know how many years of prison it…_

— McGee ?

— Hi, Ziva.

Tim entered the room but did not approach the mirror too closely. He could see well enough from where he was. Ziva then only politely nodded and turned her head again to the interrogation room. Of course he was here today. She guessed there was no deep, nor teary questions to ask about this.

— So what ? she smiled after a while, silence becoming, in the end, quite heavy. You're gonna do something like they do in movies, run to the door and open it, then walk in the room and punch the guy ?

— I wish I could, but _no_ , Tim barely smiled back, a face surprisingly neutral. He knows what he is doing.

— He does, indeed, she gently looked at him. Does he know you're here ?

— Didn't tell anyone.

— It's okay, Ziva kindly said...

 _...It had almost been an hour, and none of them could have told who was more tired : Gibbs, Mrs Valenmith, or the supposed-to-be Dr Hoopridge…_

— I'm not even talking about the time you'll spend in prison for the simple crime of recording a second ID into a Secret Defense file…

— I did not….

Another punch of the table. Gibbs was getting impatient.

— What are you doing, Agent Gibbs, Mrs Valenmith attacked him again with the simple sound of her voice, now you want to put my client in jail because of a second name's story ?

— I will accuse him of not taking out the trash if that is necessary, Jethro almost shouted, pushing a strong finger against the table, as long as it leads him to a room with four walls and bars !

— …so, is the boss still screaming like hell, or is he now using the silent, pressuring way ? Tony said as he pushed the door with his back, entering the room with dark coffee. _McGee_ , he stopped. You're here ?

— Smart remark, Ziva rolled her eyes.

 _Of course he was. Who wouldn't ?_

— Coffee ? he asked Tim, raising his own cup to him. _Oh, sorry_...stupid question.

— Actually, Tony...I don't mind taking one today.

— _S…sure_ , Tony pronounced before giving his own drink to McGee.

He hated that. It was like that every time Tim was around, he was turning into a strange, nervous version of himself, unable to talk properly... _So not Dinozzo style._

— You can take mine, Ziva begun smiling again. I thought I needed caffeine this morning but Gibbs is powerful enough to keep me perfectly awake.


	20. Chapter 20

Time was running slow.

Very slow.

 _Too_ _slow…_

— You don't have to say anything, Mr Hoopridge…Mrs Valenmith advised him again. Agent Gibbs, my client let you check and analyze from up to down his working place, and not a single proof of your Admiral's presence has been detected.

— Yeah, probably because it had been entirely cleaned with excessive care when we arrived.

— Mr Hoopridge is a doctor, I am sure that you know that cleanliness is mandatory for his job.

— So what happened ? Jethro finally asked with a scary calmness. Yeah, let's talk about it...you don't like your job, Dr Hoopridge ?

— I do love it, Agent Gibbs, _I…_

— _Really ?_ So what, you decided, one day, to leave your office without telling anyone ? Your phone had been off for several days when we finally found you, and your last appointments had been canceled. Not really what I can call professionalism.

— _I…_

— You have my client's phone, Agent Gibbs, that's right, and I'm pretty sure we would have known by now if you had found something against him.

— I don't know. _Maybe_ , Gibbs spoke and confronted her.

— You have nothing, don't you, she lowly pronounced.

— I had an emergency, the accused suddenly admitted, forcing both adults to break their scary eye contact.

— _An emergency ?_

— My mother…he swallowed hardly, she's sick. That's...that's why I left in a hurry.

Mrs Valenmith stared at her client with stupid comforting eyes, putting a hand on top of the man's phalanges, before smiling at Gibbs with empathy.

— Well, my client has been very brave, trying to hide this unfortunate element of his life that could have helped him from the beginning, but you haven't given him any other choice, Agent Gibbs, so now I guess that you know the truth. The poor Mrs Hoopridge is suffering from cancer, so if you insist I'll make sure you'll get a copy of her medical record.

Jethro paused for a second and secretly cursed the world. _He didn't see that coming._ So he kept questioning eyes on Mrs Valenmith's face, trying to figure out which way to take in order to fight back. He _hated_ her, but what he hated even more was this interrogation. Every second seemed to be following the same order : one step forward, two steps backward, making him go around in circles like a fish inside a bowl.

— So that's how you explain the money you received on your fake ID account ? he smiled. Killing is worth it when it's for family ?

 _That was a bitter question._

— I didn't kill anyone…

— Again, Agent Gibbs, this payment, which has been made to my client, is Secret D…

 _A punch on the table._

— There is no such mission, Mrs Valenmith, and you perfectly know it ! _And if there is…_ he finally stood up, both palms now pressing the silver table, then who paid you, Mr Hoopridge, _who_ ? Do you really know that or will you pretend that it is Secret Defense too !

— _Gibbs ?_

Jethro deeply sighed and revealed such an angry face to Abby as her arm quickly opened the door, black nails wrapping its handle with nervousness, but he still left his spot and walked in the exit direction, taking a last look at the man and at Mrs Valenmith.

— Sorry Gibbs, rule number twenty-two, _I know_ , but I have something that might definitely interest you.

— What is it, Abby !

— We found James Dulling's phone.

— Abby, you know that Dr Hoopridge and him are the same person, right ?

— Yeah, _I know that_ , Gibbs, she boringly sighed, but what I mean is that we have his 'second' phone ! Hoopridge's signal was off when we only started looking for him, and now that we have him in here, we didn't find anything prejudicial in his texts or emails, but last night, remember, we discovered he had a second ID...well, it seemed like he had another phone too. Then, you know how it works… _when we cracked the infos, then we found the number, but expectedly, signal was off_ , Abby begun gesticulating, _but someone who found it tried to switch it on this very morning, and…_

— Abby !

— But I'm sure you perfectly know how it works ! she froze when she saw Gibbs' angry face.

— Why didn't he get rid of it when he decided to escape ?

— I don't know, Gibbs…sounds stupid, for sure, but who knows ? People think it's easy to focus on every details, but when you are in the heat of the moment…Did you know that garbage trucks are the number one places for runaway criminals ?

— No, Abby, I didn't know that...Jethro rolled his eyes.

— Anyway, a junkie is on the way. He swears he has nothing to do with that, but maybe he could have some infos for you in exchange of a little dose… _I'm joking, Gibbs !_ she exclaimed, the previous angry face now turning scarier. He's cooked, Gibbs.

Jethro didn't add a word, simply entering the room again, and took a look at the two people next to the table, a smile waiting to show up in the corner of his lips. He guessed Hoopridge was cooked from the beginning. In fact, the only thing that was taking him away from losing face was probably his stupid lawyer.

— Anything that you would like to share ? Mrs Valenmith smilingly asked.

— Not really, he lowly answered and stood near his chair, a weird calmness now covering his face. I was just wondering…how do you feel about getting a new uniform, doc ?

While both faces in front begun turning a bit paler, Gibbs slightly moved his head in the mirror's direction and let new deep silence fill the space, Tony invisibly nodding at him from the other side.


	21. Chapter 21

— _We've just found your other phone, Dr Hoopridge, and our best experts are now currently working on it, so is there anything you would like to tell us before we find out by ourselves ?_

...Tim walked to the other room's exit before the end of the interrogation, phone vibrating between hands, heavy thoughts weighing on his mind.

— You do not want to stay until the end, McGee ? Ziva asked.

— I have to go and see Ducky right now, but I've seen what I wanted to see.

— You want one of us to go with you ?

— No, I don't need anyone, Tony… _but thanks_ , he added as he left, revealing once again the guilty politeness that was representing such a big part of his personality.

— Now that explains the coffee...Ziva spoke when Tim became completely out of sight.

— What do you mean ?

— I guess they need to talk about the funeral...

…Tim slowly entered Ducky's working place, automatic doors greeting their new visitor as they opened in front of him.

— _Ah, Timothy…_

— Hello, Ducky.

— What can I do for you, young lad ? he gently asked, already aware of the reason for his presence.

— Well, Tim timidly answered, uselessly watching his phone as if he needed some kind of reminder, I was wondering if you knew when the…the bodies could be released. Some people of my…family have been trying to organize everything, and now they were hoping for a date to be settled.

— Certainly, Timothy, Ducky kindly smiled. Actually, I might only have a few documents to sign and I think everything should be alright. You know these people...it's always about papers, papers, papers...

' _Alright'._ Could something ever be _alright_ again ?

If he might feel released to soon have access to his parents' bodies, he sadly knew it was because Ducky hadn't find anything specific besides his father's disease and over dosages... So that was _official_ : someone had tried to do things correctly in order to let people think he was only dead from a stupid accident…

— _Timothy ?_

— Sorry, he slightly jumped, facing again Dr Mallard's glasses. Did you say something ?

— I was asking you if you would like to see your parents, Timothy, Ducky slowly asked with some discreet bitterness.

 _This question wasn't easy to pronounce. Especially twice._

— _I…_ I'll probably see them on the funeral day, Tim hardly pronounced and swallowed with difficulty, I mean, you know… _pictures_ , and everything…maybe the rest of my family will even want the coffins to remain open during the ceremony, so…

— That definitely might be a possibility, but it is still, somehow, quite a different situation for now, why I just thought that, maybe, you would be ready, or at least _willing_ to see them before the…

— _I'm not_. I know that Gibbs, Tony, or even Ziva wouldn't mind doing so, but I…I don't want to see them like that. I don't want this to be my last memory of them.

— I certainly understand, and I won't be forcing you anyhow, but I just felt like I needed to ask you... Anyway, Timothy, please do tell your family that your parents will be ready soon enough for the day they will have settled. And I do hope that you know that we'll all be here with you on that day...well, as long as you don't mind bearing us, Ducky softly chuckled.

Tim simply nodded and then oriented his feet in the doors' direction, before finally pausing and looking at the man again. Dr Mallard raised a questioning head and stared at the young, still agent.

— Can I help you again ?

— _Ducky…_ Tim hesitated. _That…_ that night, where…he swallowed hardly.

— I know which night you are talking about, the old man comforted him with the sound of his voice.

— Well, I don't remember…seeing them…

— Bloody and hurt ?

— ' _Ugly'_ , Tim suddenly added, knowing he'd never pick the perfect word to explain.

Ducky sighed and approached him, wrapping a kind hand around Tim's wrist.

— It looks like your brain has decided to forget some elements from your past, and I can't tell you for sure if they're gonna come back one day, but I have to tell you that there is still a chance for them to do so.

Tim felt the tears stroking the corners of his eyes but he fought in order to hold them back.

— Were they…

— _Yes_ , Timothy, however much shocked you must have been feeling that night, I can confirm that they must have died instantly, therefore there is nothing you could have done.

— You were not here when it happened, Ducky, maybe if I had tried to...

— I know that, Timothy, but far from the idea of rubbing salt in the wound, I think you should be aware that the over dose has more than probably started killing your father before he lost the control of the vehicle. In fact, losing control has been a consequence of it, and after all my years of practice, I still don't understand how you did survive to all of this, Ducky sighed.

— The ones who leave are never the ones we expect.

— The ones who leave are never the ones we expect, _indeed_ , Timothy.

— I'm not even sure about _what_ happened.

— Well, I cannot help you completely about that, but there is a good chance for you to have been walking the whole night, my dear Timothy… _oh_ , that reminds me, by the way, that I have a jacket that belongs to you…Do not worry about it, they were only some minor tests that were done on the fabric, and it has been since, completely cleaned.

— _A jacket ?_

Tim stared at the clothing with processing eyes, wondering which one it could be...the color was pretty basic, from what he could see.

— _Here it is, Timothy..._ Looks like a traditional, Navy style jacket, doesn't it ?

— It's just a jacket, Tim reflexively spoke and nodded, before a pale expression came coloring his face. _I…_ Thank you Ducky, but I don't think I will need it anymore.

— Really ? Did I damage it without remembering it, I was so sure I hadn't...

— Nothing of that kind, do not worry about that, _I..._ I just think I'm gonna go now, he coldly added. But please feel free to give it to anyone you want.

— _Alright, Timothy…_

Tim faced again the automatic doors and barely waited for them to open, Jimmy Palmer now walking to his working place with a few documents between hands.

— _Dr Mallard, here are the…_ Tim ! he suddenly exclaimed before regretting the quite loud tone of his greeting. How are you d… _sorry_ , he nervously chuckled. Stupid question, right ? _I just..._ Well, I just wanted to…

Jimmy strangely sighed and finally wrapped his hands around Tim's neck, revealing smiling, comforting teeth.

— I'm sorry about your parents, Tim, he added before stepping backward and face him again. If you need to talk, or…anything...

Tim simply nodded and watched the man for a second, visibly touched.

— Thank you, Jimmy, he sincerely reacted. I'll remember that.

— _Okay…_ Mr Palmer nervously chuckled, _well, I…_ I think I have to go back to work. _B…_ bye, Tim, he clumsily waved at him. .

— Bye, Jimmy.

And both men then left each other with sad, but sincere smiles, Tim now realizing that Ducky was again, extremely right. Mr Palmer could really be a very good friend...

...Tim didn't try going back near the interrogation room. Maybe everything was already over and all the other ones were back to their desks, working… He entered the bullpen again and finally sighed with relief when he noticed the empty space. _He didn't want to talk to anyone._ Tim walked to the elevator and then approached the closest bus stop, almost robotically entering the rolling, crowded rectangle, his mind now empty of any thoughts, empty of any hopes…

 _Still._ There was still _one question_...

...Tim got off the bus and turned the handle of Gibbs' house with an obvious lack of strength when he finally reached the door, heading directly to the kitchen, that still same question knocking over and over again against his now exhausted brain…

 _How could it feel…how did it feel, to feel nothing ?_

Tim slowly opened the fridge, quickly staring at the quite empty rectangle...then the freezer inside of it, tired arms now facing the cold…and in the end, he quietly pulled the small, white door which was containing the icy contours, strangely pushing his head inside...fresh hands now holding to the fridge's extremities...for a period that would remain indefinite.


	22. Chapter 22

— _McGee ? You want a drink ?_

Tim stared at his own reflection through the bathroom's mirror, a hand unbuttoning his dark shirt, noticing again the black outfit he had been wearing the whole day. He was looking so pale…it was definitely not his color.

— A few more would be nice, he nervously smiled.

— Didn't have any other plans for the night, McGee.

— Works for me, then, Tim sighed and turned around, facing Gibbs.

— Come on, we're all downstairs.

McGee didn't add a word and only followed Gibbs to the basement, the faces he knew from NCIS revealing their presence as he walked down from stairs to stairs.

— So…boss, Tony begun speaking first when they both reached the floor, it's getting bigger and bigger, uh ? How many of them already ?

— Still a mystery for us about the way you manage to take them out of here, Jethro, Ducky smiled. _If you will excuse me…_ Ah,Timothy, he said as he finally faced him, ceremony has been beautiful. I am glad that we've been able to find the appropriate day.

— Thank you, Ducky.

— And let me express you my gratitude again for inviting Mr Palmer to join us, I think I can say that he was pretty touched. _Well_ , he added when Tim only nodded at the compliment, I'm gonna let your other friends come and greet you, I am aware that this place is a little more intimate than the one we were in earlier, and everyone probably has something more personal to say to you now.

Ducky tapped Tim's shoulders with his kindly palm and turned around in order to let Abby approach him. In the basement, she looked even taller.

— _McGee…_ she surprisingly almost complained, wide open arms looking for Tim's neck.

He let her wrap him with warm sleeves, trying not to overthink about the meaning of such kindness… Today was definitely strange : Abby wasn't jumping, nor shouting hysterically…she was even wearing…

— _Purple ?_ Tim asked when he met her eyes again, now staring at her outfit.

— _What_ , she chuckled, you were hoping for me to be fully black ? Come on, McGee, you don't know me that well…

— Just had a feeling, he smiled.

— We are not spending our time in black, Timmy, there are other colors in the world !

Now she was getting more like herself... The only problem was that he wasn't ready for that now.

— _Ziva_ , he smiled when he saw her coming, secretly thankful for the agent to join him.

Conversations' subject was quite the same for everyone and it wasn't easy to speak about it over and over again, but the shortest the talks were lasting, the better it was.

— Something to cheer you up, McGee ? Ziva kindly asked, raising a glass to Tim.

— Doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Tim grabbed the whisky that had just been given to him and quickly let the recipient touch his lips, feeling the bitterness of the drink stroking his throat…he'd never really liked whisky, and he probably never would, but the warmth and inhibition it was about to offer him would undoubtably be the best gift he could have for now. He needed to stop thinking, or at least to not remember what he would soon be thinking of.

— You didn't want to stay with your family ? Ziva asked. You don't seem to be seeing them very often.

— I think I've seen them enough for today, Tim sadly smiled before taking another sip of his drink. And we're not that close anymore anyway.

— I just thought…

— I wanted to be with my other family.

Ziva decided to close the sensible subject and sincerely smiled at Tim, realizing the meaning of his sentence.

— But don't say that to Tony, Tim quickly added. Otherwise he'd probably try to piss me off.

— _Piss you off ?_ Ziva smiled another time. I can see that the alcohol is working pretty well already.

— Amen to that, Tim said as he pushed his glass against his colleague's one, drinking another sip of this miraculous drink.

— To all of us, Tony suddenly spoke in the middle of the basement, raising his whisky in the air, inviting people to do the same. Because « There's no place like home ».

— You couldn't have said a better truth, Anthony, Ducky commented the toast.

— Nice try of yours, Dinozzo, but I'm pretty sure that it's a movie quote, Ziva interrupted the compliment.

Now Tim was beginning to smile. And if it was still a bit early to watch his entire world getting blurry around him, he was already feeling a bit lighter, as if some invisible force was transforming his energy into something different and easier to live with, as if what used to be basic discussions were about to be more interesting than before, more natural, and maybe, even funny.

— Well said, Agent David. To be honest, I even tried picking it from a very famous movie, therefore you'd be more able to find its title, but I guess you're still extremely bad at guessing them.

— All movies are famous for you, Tony...Ziva rolled her eyes.

— Judy Garland, as Dorothy Gale... _The Wizard of Oz_!

— I'm sure I know that movie.

— _You wish…_

— Can we move on and drink, for God sake ? Gibbs became very impatient, Tim secretly smiling as he saw him furrowing his brows...

…Tim couldn't tell for how long they'd all been spending time together. Maybe it was the alcohol that was making him lose the notion of it, or maybe he had miraculously found a way to relax completely, but the first option was certainly the best one he could think of… Now the space was getting blurrier…and darker, the basement only being lightened by an old, bad, yellow color…even people's conversations were sounding different…rather unclear, as if bodies were here and far away at once, everyone busy for whatever reason, some of his colleagues and friends talking with him from time to time while some others were sharing diverse discussions elsewhere…

— _Are you still with us, McGee ?_ Ziva chuckled.

He quickly came back to reality, Ziva's face turning normal, and a bit blurry, according to the way he was focusing on her...

— _Maybe we should…_

A cough had just covered the end of the sentence. Some voices were becoming louder than others, and the warmth on Tim's cheeks was now starting to be a bit uncomfortable.

— _Sounds like a good idea_ , Ziva kindly nodded, Tim still unable to understand what they were talking about...

 _An arm around his waist...Tony next to him. The sight of the stairs as he slowly pressed his legs on top of them... Not a single look at the walls, or barely the bottom of them...only eyes focusing on the numerous stairs he was trying to climb._

— _Got you, McFunny !_ Tony caught Tim when he started falling next to his room. So…night wasn't that bad, from what I can see, he smiled.

— I didn't drink that much, Tim chuckled.

— I guess you don't remember the first couple of drinks you had during the day, Tony gently smiled.

— _It was…_ it was funny, Tim repeated the word and tried to articulate while Tony slowly helped him sitting on his bed, to hear you quoting a m…movie again, Tony. You…hadn't done it for a while.

Now his breathing was getting strange, his heartbeats accelerating a bit under his skin…he guessed he really needed to lie down.

— Just tried not to sound too boring, Tony nicely answered before sighing. _So…_ you're okay, Timmy ? I mean, as much as you can be.

— _You know, Tony…_ Tim hardly pronounced again, the darkness of the room inviting him to a questionless sleep, I never really liked him.

— What are you talking about…

Tony helped Tim pulling the blanket on top of his dark outfit, wondering how far this slow conversation would go.

— _I mean…_ maybe that was because he didn't like me. And my mother, _she…_ she really liked him…I think…but _mayb…_ maybe then, he had even less time for loving me…

Tony remained silent at the news, knowing deep down that he couldn't simply blame someone like this, using that stupid reason like everybody would have done, the one saying that you couldn't _not_ love your parents… His whole life with his own father had been a real proof of it.

— I'm not the one you all think I am…Tim slowly spoke, his eyes now completely closing, ready to face the night, and tomorrow's undoubtable hangover. _I didn't like him…_ he kept breathing with difficulty, but you know…he was still my father…and she was my moth…

— Is that why you didn't take the jacket, McGee ? Tony whispered. Ducky told us about that. You didn't like what it represented, uh ? he asked and answered as well his own question. _Hey, McGee._

 _Too late._ Tim was now deeply sleeping. And Tony knew he really needed it.


	23. Chapter 23

Gibbs entered the bullpen with wide open eyes, taking a quick glance at Tim's empty desk before heading to Abby's lab. Director Vance had required his two agents for some kind of update meeting, but he'd ask them for some infos later...

— _Just in time, as usual, Gibbs !_ Abby exclaimed from the inside without even turning back, eyes still staring at her screen.

 _Her favorite drink put on the table. That seemed to be well deserved._

— My lord ! she slowly said with relief, what a wonderful idea, Gibbs…especially after yesterday !

— Too much whisky ?

— _Yeah_ , she ironically chuckled, _right._ I was talking about the funeral, Gibbs ! _I mean..._ it was beautiful, but come on, nobody really wanted to be there. _Poor McGee…_

— Death always comes too soon, Abby...Jethro commented. So what do you have ?

— Well, besides my obvious headache facing that stupid computer all day long, not the best elements of the world, but I still can give you my opinion about that.

Gibbs furrowed his eyebrows, waiting for the explanation.

— It took me some time to understand the texts that were sent to Dr Hoopridge, and _yes_ , the phone number is still off, Gibbs, sorry about that, but _anyway_ , as expected, all the messages were written with a secret code !

— Which one ?

— Well, I'll go straight to the fact…I know you like that. So basically it was quite a torture, even for the system, because there are too many possibilities, especially nowadays, _but_ the last message was much more helpful in the end ! If fact, it was Dr Hoopridge who sent it to the mysterious guy, why I was even more interested.

— Show me ?

Gibbs walked to the second screen and listened to Abby's double clicks on the computer, her hands finally revealing a few letters in front of him :

" _ILUVWWUBIDLOHGVHFRQGDSSRLQWPHQWWRUHVFKHGXOH_ "

— What the hell is that, Abbs ?

— Oh, sorry, she smiled, it should be easier to read like that, right ?

" _ILUVW WUB IDLOHG. VHFRQG DSSRLQWPHQW WR UHVFKHGXOH_ "

— _Abby…_ Gibbs sighed, visibly annoyed.

— _Come on, Gibbs, it's fun !_ Take a closer look at the first group of letters. ' _UVW_ ', right ? I figured that there were excellent chances for the letters to be in the same order in the real word, so I just made a list of five-word-letters ending up with three successive letters. According to the fact that the same letters were present in some others words of the sentences, it would definitely be helpful to find out about the rest of the message, I mean, at least if I was right...

— You're losing me, Abbs...Gibbs started to complain.

— I know, she smiled again. Words, letters, words, letters… _anyway !_ I am not a lawyer, nor a judge of any kind, but I can tell you that the other messages shouldn't be good enough for an accusation. It's mostly about meeting places, nothing amazing… Well, it's enough for a little bit of suspicion, but they'll probably tell you again about that damn Secret Defense thing, which is, in my opinion, a pathetic excuse, saying that codes are used for…anyway, _bla bla bla_ , right ? No, the more interesting is that last message, especially because it was sent on the day of the Admiral's first injection with that Dr Hoopridge.

— Tell me about it ?

Gibbs approached Abby again, watching her fingers quickly type on her computer.

— They used what is called the Caesar Code, or most commonly the 'A = D code'. It's very simple when you think about it. You write two lines of the alphabet, one with the normal order and the other one starting with a D. Then you just have to find the appropriate letter according to what you want to write... _It's easy, Gibbs !_ Anyway, here it is : "FIRST TRY FAILED. SECOND APPOINTMENT TO RESCHEDULE." I was always wondering why they had needed a second day, but now I guess…

—…the Admiral survived the first one, why Hoopridge only got paid once, after the second injection, Gibbs sighed and started leaving, kissing Abby's cheek before walking away.

— Make him spit out the name, Gibbs ! Abby almost shouted from where she'd stayed, bank details didn't lead us anywhere, and that _damn_ phone is still off, so we need to find the one who paid him !

Gibbs heard her voice getting lower and walked to the elevator, facing the silver doors with a different feeling. _Now_ they had something new to add to the case, and the last thing he needed was Dr Hoopridge to crack up and face reality in order to tell them the truth... After all, maybe he was really new in the criminal business, and had accepted such a mission because he really cared about his family... Gibbs sighed and watched the doors closing in front of him.

 _Despair..._ definitely the easiest feeling to play with.


	24. Chapter 24

Gibbs entered the bullpen again, Tony and Ziva now back to their desks.

— _Hey boss, want an update ?_

— You'll tell me later, now I want you to go and speak to Dr Hoopridge.

— _Wh…_ me ? Why, boss, you are the one who started interrogating him.

— Catch it.

Tony clumsily caught the file Gibbs had just thrown between his hands, quickly opening it.

— Here is your update of the case, now go.

— Can I come and watch ? Ziva smiled.

— No, I need you to go downstairs in order to help Abby.

— Abby needs help ?

— _Yes_ , Ziva, sometimes she does, Gibbs impatiently furrowed his brows, not very glad he had to justify himself. _Faster, Tony_ , before his lawyer joins the party.

— On my way, boss, Tony pronounced and left the space, heading to the interrogation room. _Lucky you, Dinozzo…yeah, why not talking to a suspect when you are not supposed to do it, uh ?_ he mumbled when he finally walked alone, nervous eyes focused on the few pages of the file.

He approached the room next to the interrogation one and quickly reread the documents he had between hands, waiting for the accused to enter. Why would Gibbs want him to talk, this time ? There was nothing exceptionally new… Well, he thought when he looked again at some of the lines, Abby had apparently cracked a few codes…but she was always doing so. Besides that, nothing new…the guy was still not talking about who'd paid him. So which element Gibbs wanted him to insist on in order to get his answer ?

— _Oh damn it, boss…_ he finally sighed when he stared at the old element.

Dr Hoopridge's mother cancer. He hadn't thought about it anymore. Mrs Valenmith had provided them his mother's medical record after she had confronted Gibbs with the proof, explaining why he had ran away, but he hadn't thought of it since, he hadn't even considered needing to use it in the future. _How stupid._

— _Pull yourself together, Tony, it's like any other case_ , he whispered and straightened his body, the man he was looking for suddenly accessing the room in front.

 _What a bad liar._ Anyway, he deeply breathed in and pressed the silver handle of the door, facing the corridor for a second before pressing the second handle of the interrogation room.

— _Dr Hoopridge…_ he neutrally pronounced, if I still can call you that way…color is good on you, it matches your eyes.

— I just called my lawyer, Agent Dinozzo.

— I didn't expect less from you. But now let me tell you one thing, Tony spoke as he sat in front of the man : now that we are completely sure of your guiltiness, it is your _last_ chance to tell us the truth. If you cooperate with us, we might find some kind of agreement in order to reduce your imprisonment, but as soon as your lawyer will be here and speak in your name, there will be no turning back...

Tony silently stared at the man, seeing the opposite face turning a bit paler, hands slightly shaking on top of the table…

' _Wait a little bit more…'_ Tony thought.

Now Hoopridge was swallowing with difficulty.

— Clock is ticking, Dulling…the agent pronounced, voluntarily. As soon as your lawyer is passing that door…

Hoopridge blinked a few times as he heard his fake name again, the sound of it, after all these days, reminding him where he was currently sitting, remembering him that he couldn't go back in time but still maybe could avoid an even worst situation… _That was the moment._ The moment for Tony to talk.

— Hey, I know how you feel, he whispered, now approaching his arms and head on the table.

— Please give me the right to be surprised, Agent Dinozzo. I am the one on the bad side of the law...

— _Which stage ?_ Tony slowly asked.

Silence instantly filled the space and Tony wasn't sure who was feeling the weirder between the two of them. The pinch of some very old memory had suddenly touched his heart again when he hadn't expected it…

— _Stage 3_ , the voice interrupted his thoughts. _Did you…_

— My mother, Tony admitted. A long time ago.

— I'm sorry… How did...how did you deal with that ?

— I was young, so there was nothing I could have really done for that…but I know I would have done _anything_ , he insisted, if there had been a single chance for me to save her.

Dr Hoopridge's eyes slightly begun shining at the news.

— You _cannot_ erase the past, Tony continued, but you can say who hired you to do that, the judge will be more merciful if you…

— Don't say anything else, Mr Hoopridge, Mrs Valenmith quickly spoke as she opened the door. Agent Dinozzo…

— This is your last chance to see the light again, Tony rushed the accused, think of your mother, we'll be able to categorize you as a vulnerable target if you…

— _That's enough !_ Mrs Valenmith interrupted him. Mr Hoopridge, she calmly said, we still can contest…

— _Okay !_ the accused brusquely agreed. _No !_ he said and raised a palm to the woman. _I..._ I'm gonna give you the name.

— I'm listening…Tony immediately grabbed a pen.

— _S..._ Smith.

Tony raised both questioning eyebrows.

— ' _Smith' ?_ Is that a joke ? The only thing you have is the most common American name ?

— I know ! I know, _but..._ but I have a number too.

— Oh, you mean the number that is still off ? Tony greeted his teeth.

— No, _he..._ he called me once, the day after the Admiral's death, it was another phone number. I guessed he had thrown his old one or…or maybe there was some kind of risk, _I don't know…_ he wanted me to confirm the dose I've been given… He told me to remember the number...in case I'd need to contact him again.

Tony wrote the number down and walked to the camera, raising the paper in front of it. Why hadn't they care that much about that call ? Maybe it was too obvious after all the codes and calls he had been receiving with the other number that they hadn't noticed the importance of this one...

— Anything that might help before I leave ? he asked again to the accused.

— I'm not sure, _I…_ Oh, yes, maybe there is… _I…_ he hesitated, I remember hearing some…music around him, as if there was some kind of fun fair, or something…

— _Well ?_

— I mean, think about it...if it might have been a risk for anyone to hear something that might give a clue concerning his location, why wouldn't he have moved away ? Maybe because he was living nearby, or…

— Or he was calling somewhere he couldn't walk away from.

— _A payphone_ , Dr Hoopridge confirmed, swallowing hardly. That's what I thought, yes… _Agent Dinozzo, wait, will you tell them that I helped !_ he added and begged when Tony immediately left the room…

— _EVERYONE OUTSIDE !_ Gibbs ordered from the bullpen, each agent immediately taking his badge and gun, heading nervously to the elevator.


	25. Chapter 25

Gibbs grabbed the steering wheel in a hurry and pressed the acceleration pedal with crazy eyes, worries due to impatience playing with his nerves.

— Hey, boss, no need to speed up like that, Tony nervously smiled. Call has been made days ago, so no need to provoke an accident, uh ?

— If we find the guy's face and realize he has a room next to the payphone, you really think I'm gonna take my time, Dinozzo ? Gibbs gritted his teeth. What do you think ? You want a tea or something before we arrest the suspect, maybe ?

Ziva smiled from the backseat but didn't comment what had just been said. Tony was already feeling bad enough.

— Okay, boss, _understood_ , he mumbled.

Gibbs silently drove to another street, the silence of the car getting so heavy that everyone could only hear the sweet roaring of the vehicle…

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

— Ah, Hello Timothy, I'm glad to see that you are trying to eat something.

— How do you manage, Ducky ? Every time it feels like my stomach is playing tennis with my organs.

— Well that's interesting…Dr Mallard audibly laughed, trying to figure out where Tim could have found such a sporty comparison to explain his visible hangover.

— That's why I never drink that much, Ducky, my body is not... _ready_ for that.

— Well, I guess sometimes that it is not mandatory, but still a bit advised. I am not gonna make an apology of whisky, of course not, but I do think that letting the mind fly away from time to time is still quite a good thing to do on some occasions…

— Seems to be easier for you, from what I can see, Tim quickly smiled, I know the whole day is almost gone, but…

— Jethro and I were born from the same old tree, the medical examiner chuckled, I guess we have more power on whisky nowadays than whisky has on us. _May I ?_ he politely asked, revealing a hand near the kitchen's table.

— Please do.

— Can I tell you a little secret, Timothy ?

Tim nodded and let Ducky continue.

— I know I am very famous to be the eternal admirer of Tea Time, and I guess it is not gonna change anytime soon, but I have to say that I am quite close to teenagers' behavior when it happens for me to be drinking.

— What about it ?

— I am craving for pizza…

Both men instantly shortly, but sincerely laughed at the revelation, Tim drying a small tear of happiness escaping from his eye. He had no idea if Ducky was telling him a real secret or only pretending in order to make him smile, but anyway, it was definitely working.

—…but don't tell Jethro, hmm ? He'd lose all his bearings…Ducky's body kept shaking with the continuous joke.

— You are right, Ducky. If I don't think about the awful headache I had the whole afternoon, I have to say that yesterday's drinks were quite worth it. I definitely needed to think about something else.

— You needed it, _indeed_ , the old man smiled in return. But if you keep on saying that I am right for everything, Timothy, I'll start making you pay for all my precious advices…

— I'll think about it, Tim chuckled.

Silence filled the kitchen's space for a second before both men finally sighed unitedly, enjoying the recent previous moment, but still knowing that another seriouser conversation was about to come...

— So why are you here, Ducky ? Is there anything new with my parents' case, or are you only here to check on my hangover ? _That's what I thought_ , he added when he saw the old man's smile vanish.

— I wanted to tell you that we had something new. We found the last location of the man who paid Dr Hoopridge…well, _'doctor'…_ Ducky disdainfully commented.

— What about him ?

— It seems like he called from a payphone, so now I guess that the whole team is gonna look for him around the place, maybe check at the cameras if there are some…in order to find the man.

Tim paused for a second, thinking and now realizing that _maybe_ , things would soon be over. _That was a strange feeling._ In fact, he didn't really know what to think about that.

— How is your rib, Timothy ?

— Better than before, I guess…

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

— That's the one, boss, Tony pointed at the payphone, Gibbs' car parking wherever.

— I want someone to work on it _right now_ , I need DNA ! Jethro robotically ordered.

— There is a big chance for our man to have been using gloves, Ziva commented, _but we'll do our best_ , she added before grabbing her phone.

— Tony, you have the exact time of the call ? So now we need to find cameras. If we got one…

—…then we'll be able to identify someone calling at the exact same time. _Got it_ , boss.

Gibbs let his agent walk around the place, taking a look at the few buildings and shops around. _Three possibilities…_ the man was still here, watching them, the man had already left…or the man had never been staying here at all, only calling…

— Gibbs, they're on their way, Ziva interrupted his thoughts.

— Boss, Tony did the same, two cameras on each side, both out of order.

— Did someone break them ?

— For sure, boss, but I'm not even certain that it's recent. This place is not the cleanest ever, I don't even think they ever cared about replacing them.

— The man knew which location to choose, Ziva added.

...Gibbs impatiently followed the movement of a man in uniform walking from his car to the payphone with his equipment, wondering how long it would take... He'd always found watching people working extremely boring.

— Do you know how long this is gonna take ? he finally asked after some time.

— Well, I don't know _exactly_ , Agent Gibbs, but I can already see that the handset has been completely cleaned.

Jethro furrowed his brows with exasperation.

— _Tony, Ziva._

— Yes, boss ?

— I need you to…

Both teammates observed Gibbs for a second as he stopped talking.

— _You hear that ?_

— What, boss...

The tiny sound of a bell rang nearby, some music coming out of… _somewhere…_ Gibbs raised a finger to his mouth, his body surprisingly turning back in a colorful building's direction.

— That's not a fun fair...he sighed.

— It's an Ice Cream shop ! Ziva added.

— ' _Una Gelateria…'_ Tony suddenly gesticulated, proud of his supposed to be Italian accent. _Hey, buddy !_ he quickly turned serious again and walked to the seller, hands ready to grab his gun, Gibbs and Ziva by his side.

— _Hey, wow !_ the man immediately raised both hands, I didn't do anything wrong ! I was just reopening for the evening, it's not a crime !

Each agent saw the glimpse of fear in the stranger's eyes, and all of them then tried to relax a bit more.

— Any memory of a man walking to that payphone over there a few days in a row ?

— _Wh…_ what ? Man, how could I know ? Do you think I spend my life out of the shop ? I have customers inside too !

— The payphone is right in front of your shop, you're never taking a break ?

— I don't know ! You guys don't have a picture to show me or something ? Or maybe we can try with the cameras too !

— We already tried that...Ziva gritted her teeth, but they're all out of order.

— No, no, I meant _my_ cameras !

— You have some ? Gibbs' eyes begun shining.

— _Of course_ , with all these thieves who try stealing my tips on the outside tables, I had no choice ! People would kill for a few dollars, _vaffan..._ sorry, but what a crazy world we live in...

Tony felt deep impatience wrap his heart and suddenly raised his gun in the man's direction, not Gibbs, nor Ziva, trying to prevent him doing so.

— _Andiamo Signore_ , he ordered, we don't have the whole night. Moreover, your ice is melting.

The man seemed to be panicking again for a second but finally invited them to follow him inside, the three pairs of eyes deeply focusing on him.


	26. Chapter 26

— _Here_ , boss, watch. Someone is walking to the payphone. _Come on, Smith, show us your head..._

Gibbs moved a bit forward, staring at the pale silhouette suspiciously walking to the handset...finally revealing a face.

— _Got you._ That's the exact time, Dinozzo ?

— It is, boss.

— Alright, send that to Abby and let's go back to NCIS. I want this guy in my interrogation room.

— I'm not an expert, Gibbs, Ziva added, but the picture doesn't seem too bad. At least not bad enough for Abby.

— _So..._ you guys have everything now ? the ice cream seller shyly asked. Because I have customers coming, and having polizia in my place isn't very reassuring for them, I'm sure you understand...

— No, we don't, Gibbs coldly answered.

— Maybe take a cone, Agent...Dinozzo ?

— No, thanks...Tony sighed without even a look at his interlocutor. I'm on a diet.

The three of them double checked everything they needed to check and then quickly moved to the car, entering it with a wide new motivation, knowing now that they finally had a face to put on that damn _'Smith'_ name. Gibbs remained extremely silent and only grabbed the steering wheel with the same strength he had previously used, perfectly aware that he wasn't about to care this time about any uniform. Navy or not navy, this guy would have now to pay the price…

— _Abby, what do you have ?_ Jethro asked as he entered the loud room, noticing the pale zoom of the grey picture being quickly compared to thousands of other faces.

— _Gibbs !_ Nice to see you too… So what, now you send me a picture and you visit me three hours later ? I knew we've always had this special link that was making you go down and visit me as soon as you felt that something was found, but you are pushing the limits of that link a little bit too much, Gibbs…

— I want this guy, _now._

— Yeah, I want that too, but…oh you can't be serious. _No Caf-Pow ?_ What do you think I am, a healthy genius ?

— Yes, Abbs.

The duet then unitedly stared at the screen for a minute, Gibbs practically about to give up, before a sound suddenly echoed in the system, barely audible with the current volume of Abby's lab music.

— And you were… _right_ about that ! she pointed at her computer. _So…_ say hello to the...Vice Admiral Gordon Peterang ! Abby added while typing again at her incredible speed on his keypad. Now wait a second… Okay...so it seems like our man has had some little troubles with authority these last few months…nothing bad enough to be fired, apparently, but still too much to deserve to be an Admiral himself. _Someone got his dreams broken..._ she ironically sighed. It's written on this document that the Admiral John McGee has been talking about him in order to report his behavior… Oh dear, I guess he heard about that and wasn't really glad…mustn't be funny to work with someone who just ratted you up…

Gibbs rolled his eyes at the comment. If only things were that easy…

— I'm just trying to stand in people's shoes, Gibbs ! It's helping me to figure out things with the different cases ! Anyway, that is such a man thing... _really_ , can't you guys be talking like women do when there is a trouble, instead of stabbing each other in the back ?

— _Abby..._

— Okay, too early, _right._

— And we have access to these files so quickly ?

— Like you're gonna complain…Abby chuckled. Well, I can answer you about that…she kept on reading and typing. _Jackpot !_ Our Vice Admiral Gordon Peterang has been missing for a few days, _what a surprise !_ They seemed to have only been updating it since yesterday...so it's still not _that_ visible on the system, probably because of some sensitive Navy missions, but let's say that some guys seem to be now secretly after him.

— That's a joke ? What, he asked for holidays or something ? An Admiral is dead, and a Vice Admiral is missing, and nobody says nothing ?

— Well, I guess they don't always see each other 'physically', Gibbs, but the best option still is that he's probably not the only bad guy of the team...maybe he has someone to cover his tracks...but we don't have time to catch them all for now, we have a priority, right ?

— We have, indeed...Gibbs sighed, feeling powerless with all these corruptions.

— Anyway, that's all I can give you for now, I think, _with_ , as a bonus...a beautiful portrait of the guy.

— Got it, Abbs. Thanks. I want his picture everywhere, we have to find him ! And show his face to our Dr Hoopridge, he might only have heard his voice on the phone, maybe he's already met him in the past without even knowing it.

— And a copy to Dr Felmand too, we never know !

— You'll have two of them when I'll be back, Jethro kissed Abby's cheek before leaving.

— _You know how to keep me in the team, Gibbs !_ she shouted from the loud lab, his boss now heading to the elevator with that sweet caffeinated promise.


	27. Chapter 27

— Anything new ? Gibbs asked as he went down the stairs, leaving Director Vance's office.

— Nothing, boss, he's completely vanished.

— _Nothing_ after all this time !

— No use of any credit card, passport, no sign of him anywhere, Ziva added.

— He might have seen himself on TV...Gibbs sighed.

— Now all we can wish is for him to be nervous.

— I would say it would be quite a bad risk, Tony, Ziva commented.

— But at least he'd start to freak out and it'll be easier to find him.

— Yeah, if he doesn't do anything irrevocable...

 _A phone call. Maybe some update..._

— Gibbs.

— _Ah, Jethro…_ Ducky kindly spoke, Gibbs' face turning a bit disappointed, _I have the report you've asked me to write about our last case. I guess Director Vance will be, well, 'happy', if I can say, to know that it was a suicide._

— You're sure about that ?

— _Absolutely certain. Anyway, the file'll be yours when you'll come and get it, and we'll be able to close this parallel case. Now I have some other things to finish before Mr Palmer gets back, so if you will excuse me..._

— Thanks, Ducky.

Jethro hung up and immediately headed downstairs without really knowing why, reaching the silver doors of the elevator… _there was nothing to say, and it was becoming very frustrating..._ When both rectangles opened up again, he quickly walked to Ducky's working place. At least, there was still one question he'd certainly get an answer to.

— _Ah, Jethro…this wasn't an emergency…_ I only preferred keeping you in touch about that before I might have forgotten it myself, he chuckled. I like things to be, well, quite organized, when I'm in here, all alone…

 _Question would wait..._

— Case is not moving…not fast enough.

— Ah ? Tell me about it ?

— The Vice Admiral hasn't been seen for three days. Probably more, but I mean…

—…you mean three days since you all found out about who he was.

Gibbs nodded as an answer.

— He'll soon enough need to be fed, don't you think, Jethro ? Ducky smiled.

— He's been missing for a while, now. He's probably far away.

— Probably not far away enough from you…he smiled again. Jethro, if there is something I know...the medical examiner added when he faced the pair of worried eyes, it is that you never give up. It is a Navy case, Jethro, and more than anything, it is _Tim_ 's Navy case…

— Well, what are the possibilities, then…

— He can still be around, if we consider that he is waiting for some people helping him to leave the country, for example…

— I'm pretty sure he could have managed doing so earlier…

— Being put quite late missing in the system doesn't mean people weren't after him earlier, don't you forget this, Jethro…it is not a civil investigation, and he might still be nearby if he's waiting himself for some... _compensation_ …

— What do you mean, Ducky ?

— Well, didn't you ever consider this : Vice Admiral Peterang had a reason to end up Admiral McGee's life, but maybe he wasn't the only one. The Admiral was taking very important decisions, and his death would have probably been a blessing for more than only one person… If it was me, and if I had some troubles with someone…having some extra hands helping me and paying me for that would definitely be what I could call…

— _Jackpot_ , Gibbs surprisingly pronounced.

— Abby wouldn't have said better, Ducky chuckled. Indeed, it makes the task easier as you have now someone by your side to help you, and then you only have to share some of the money with someone 'from the team' that you will have hired to do the job. If possible, someone easy to convince...

— Dr Hoopridge.

— _Dr Hoopridge_ , Ducky repeated, moving forward in Jethro's direction. You don't rush to the first airport when you are so high placed in the hierarchy. I know what you think about corruption and I am not gonna contradict you about that… _but_ , I guess I'm not teaching you anything new when I tell you that people do know when a Vice Admiral is missing. You'd better be completely sure of your escape when you know you're never gonna come back, right ? And secret mission or not, he finally added, I wouldn't blame them to give themselves a few days before telling the whole Navy that someone of that rank has been missing, and has probably become a criminal. It's not good for the newspapers, if you know what I mean, Ducky smiled for the umpteenth time.

— Maybe they officially thought that he might never come back after a week of silence, Gibbs ironically chuckled, his medical examiner imitating him...

Jethro sighed and took a look at the space…he had always loved his job, but…it was sometimes so _exhausting_ …and _pathetic…_ He faced Dr Mallard for a second, trying to analyze the silence of the room... Updates and talks with Ducky were often very short, but they were probably more helpful than anything else.

— How is Tim ? he finally asked the question.

— I recently talked with him. I was surprised that he was so calm…almost peaceful in a way. Maybe the hangover.

Both men quickly smiled and remained silent again.

— He misses his family ?

— I would rather say that he misses 'having' a family, and he probably feels guilty for that. The Tim we know now probably considers himself like a monster for not loving them as much as he thinks he should have. Yes, it is hard to change the routine, Ducky sadly commented, even when you realize that it didn't mean a lot for you...

Jethro nodded before grabbing his phone, the item ringing in his pocket. Dr Mallard then discreetly approached him, waiting for some update with the case.

— Gibbs.

— _Boss, we got him !_

Jethro's body slightly jumped at the news.

— _It's quite a long way to go, but he's currently locked in a hotel room._

— I'm coming ! Anything else ?

— _He has a hostage... Told you he might be freaking out at some point._

— That's why we have pictures and journalists, Dinozzo...

— _Agents are already trying to talk to him,_ Ziva's voice added, _he's armed._

— Go to the car, I'm almost there.

— _Got it. Boss ?_

— Yes, Tony ?

 _— This is the end, boss._

 _—_ I hope you're right.

Gibbs reflexively pointed a meaningful finger at the old man by his side, heading again to the elevator.

— _Go, go, go…_ Ducky hurried him to leave, I'm coming to your place immediately and I will talk to Timothy.


	28. Chapter 28

Gibbs slammed the door of his car, followed by Tony and Ziva. They all then rushed to the entrance of the building, cars with sirens on parked on both sides.

— Agent Gibbs, he introduced himself, what's going on in here ?

— Agent Forsingle, we're still trying to talk with the man. He's keeping himself away from the windows, curtains are closed…well, he knows the basics.

— Of course he does. Anything, or anybody else in the room with him ? We heard about a hostage, Tony spoke.

— Well, you had a short story version, then…

— _Meaning ?_ Ziva asked.

— We have two people in here with our man, Agent Forsingle explained : mother and child.

— _The Vice Admiral has…_ Tony hesitated.

— You're right, Forsingle nodded. His future ex-wife and little girl. He uses her to confirm everything he says and has a daughter to threaten if necessary. And he says he has a bomb.

— _A bomb ?_ Gibbs turned mad. Who the hell is in charge for sharing informations ?

— I don't know, Agent Gibbs…it's kind of crazy out there, and I think there is more important to think of, for now. We'll blame the messengers later.

Gibbs only briefly nodded and started moving.

— No surprise why ex Mrs Peterang wasn't home when we tried to find her…Ziva sighed, reflexively adjusting her bulletproof vest.

— _Dinozzo, David, you need a break ?_ Jethro complained. Everybody's out ? he then asked Forsingle.

— Yes, building is empty. Only agents here and outside.

— He is from the Navy, I need to talk to him.

— _Well, not for long, now…_ Tony mumbled, still following the group.

— We were waiting for you, Forsingle continued. Please be careful.

Gibbs approached the door and prepared himself for a conversation.

— _Vice Admiral Peterang !_ he loudly knocked on the door, _I am Special Agent Gibbs, from NCIS…_

— So what, he thinks he's gonna have a chance to escape like that ? Ziva asked Forsingle as she stood a bit back with Tony.

— We don't know yet if it was premeditated, Agent…?

— _David._ Well, I think I'm not wrong when I say that he already had all the necessary material.

Tony briefly chuckled at the evidence.

— What I'm saying, Agent David, is that we don't know if the bomb was planned to be used in that specific hotel room. It seems like our Vice Admiral has been taken by surprise.

— _Or_ he was the one asking for his ex wife and kid to join him in here…Ziva hazarded a guess. He was already about to loose everything with the future divorce, he might have called her before she heard about him missing.

— Feeling maternal, Ziva ? Tony ridiculously smiled.

— Oh, shut up, Tony… He might have called them in order to use them as hostages, or…

— _Go on_ , Agent David, Forsingle spoke.

— Or he might have completely decided to end up everyone's lives in order to make the pain stop.

— _Power over death…_ Tony whispered.

— I don't know if the separation has been done the hard way, Ziva ended her explanation, but I wouldn't picture the mother bringing her child with her if she wasn't completely sure about her safety. So if she was already missing when we tried contacting her...I guessed she felt that way. It was too risky for him to go out, she must have joined him at some point.

— Now you are definitely maternal…Tony smiled. Any mental troubles ?

— Seems like it, Agent Dinozzo.

— Any bomb timer on ?

— Not that we know, but the woman said anyway that the bomb could be activated thanks to a remote control.

— Bomb jacket ?

— Certainly, Forsingle commented. His best chance to leave the building.

 _— Smart guy…_ Tony gritted his teeth...

…Gibbs remained close to the door, still talking with the man on the other side.

— Vice Admiral, you don't want to do that. If you still love your wife and child…

— _Future ex wife, Agent Gibbs !_ the man desperately corrected. _I don't have anything else anymore…_

— Vice Admiral Peterang…

— _They_ _'officially'_ _said that I wouldn't become an Admiral, but I know what he talked about !_

— _He ?_ Who ?

— _The Admiral McGee ! He told them I was disturbed, that I was the enemy ! But see how smart I have been the whole time !_

Now the voice was starting to shake, something that was worrying Jethro...

— Did you hear them say that, Vice Admiral Peterang ?

— _No ! But I know they did ! I know what everyone thinks of me ! They all think I am paranoid and dangerous, but they're all wrong !_

— _Please, Gordon, let us go…_

— _Shut up, Amelia..._ the voice shook even more before the male lips kissed the woman's forehead. _I will not abandon you, we are a family, right…_

— _Think about your daughter…please just let her go…_ the tearful female's voice begged her husband another time.

— Vice Admiral, I perfectly know how you feel, I just want to talk to you…

— _Oh r_ _eally, Agent Gibbs ! You think you can know everything about me, uh ?_

— Yes, Peterang, I know how it's like... You give your whole life to the Navy and the day they don't need you anymore they just find an excuse and kick you out of the place, they don't care about all these years of service…

Jethro quickly paused and silence filled both sides of the place for a second, Gibbs secretly hoping for his words to have an impact on the man...

— _I don't believe you !_ the voice finally shouted, Jethro reflexively grabbing his gun between fingers. _You all think I'm crazy, I know you do !_

Gibbs felt it coming and he was right. The sound of a gunshot suddenly echoed inside the room and the scream of a woman brusquely resonated in half the building…


	29. Chapter 29

— WE'RE GOING INSIDE ! Break me that door, _now_ ! Gibbs ordered to the men and women behind him.

— _No, Gordon, please don't…_

— _I'm gonna blow up the building !_

But two pairs of arms had already grabbed the item and violently hit the rectangle while a woman was still screaming inside, the new free space in the wall now revealing a couple and their child. The Vice Admiral raised a gun and a remote control in Jethro's direction, his victims still by his side, a broken lamp and damaged table lying onto the floor.

— _Don't move, Agent Gibbs !_ the man warned him, Jethro immediately raising both arms in the air.

— Don't shoot ! he ordered again without a glance, colleagues behind him immediately lowering their guns. Vice Admiral…

— No sudden moves, Agent Gibbs…or I kill them !

— No sudden moves…I promise. I'm just gonna kneel down, in order to drop my gun…is that alright ?

The man only nodded with crazy eyes, holding back some tears trying to blurry his view as he kept tightening his wife the way he could, and Gibbs simply abandoned his weapon, making it slide to a corner of the room.

— Mrs Peterang, are you hurt ?

— _Don't talk to her !_ her husband warned, gun now focused on her temple.

— I just want to know if she's alright, Vice Admiral…Gibbs slowly pronounced. This is our duty to protect people, remember ?

— _Okay…_ he trembled. Amelia, darling…he nervously kissed her again, answer the question.

— _I'm…_ I'm alright, Agent Gibbs. Honey, you alright, too ?

The little girl nodded and Gibbs then discreetly sighed with relief.

— You see, Agent Gibbs ? Everybody's alright. Now, back to me.

— What do you want, Vice Admiral ?

— I want a car. _Now._ And I don't want anyone trying to stop me…otherwise, I'll press the button.

— I'm sure this is something we can do. Agent Forsingle ? he called the man, still staring at Peterang.

The Vice Admiral carefully listened to the other agent as he started talking to someone on the phone.

— Agent Forsingle, I need…

— Speaker on !

— Agent Forsingle, he begun again, I need a car and a clear road for the Vice Admiral Peterang. Don't try to stop him when he goes down, _I repeat_ : don't try to stop him. Am I clear ?

— _Hear you loud and clear, Agent Forsingle. Space will be free in a minute, with a car at your disposal for your man._

— Alright, every agent now leave the building, he then loudly ordered, before everyone around him started doing so.

— _Anything else ?_ Gibbs asked, still watching the damaged family picture.

— I need a helicopter.

— This might be a little longer to obtain, Vice…

— _I don't care !_ Peterang shouted, his wife and kid jumping at the violent sound of his voice.

— We might be able to do something about that too, Forsingle spoke. But we'll need something from you too.

— _Free our daughter, Gordon…_ the woman suddenly tried to say. I'll go wherever you want, but _please…_ free our daughter...

The man seemed to be hesitating for quite a while, until his lips slowly begun moving again…

— I want a car and a helicopter ready for my wife and myself, in exchange of my daughter... This will be my last word.

— Agent Forsingle, I need a helicopter for Vice Admiral Peterang and his wife.

— _I can have you one in Cardinal Stadium in about thirty minutes_ , the voice finally answered.

Peterang listened to the words he was desperately hoping to hear, taking a look at his child, still waiting by his side…

— So I repeat, Agent Forsingle spoke again, is the road clear with one car at Vice Admiral Peterang's disposal, and will the place be clear as well in Cardinal Stadium with a helicopter ready to use in maximum thirty minutes ?

— _Check, and check._

— You have everything now, Gibbs slowly commented.

— I want a woman to take care of my baby...the man almost cried.

— Okay.

— This is Agent Forsingle again, we are looking for the Agent David. Not armed.

— _Coming._

Only a minute later, Ziva reached the floor for the second time and gently approached the sad family.

— I love you, darling. Daddy loves you _very_ much...

The little girl didn't say a word, only staring at her tearful mother and visibly tense father, before leaving with the new smiling agent, and when Peterang seemed to be certain that his daughter had completely left the place, he slowly started to move as well.

— _You too. Out.  
_  
— Vice Admiral…

— _I said 'OUT' !_ Peterang shouted before shooting Forsingle in the leg.

Gibbs hurried to kneel down in order to help him and hoped not to receive the same treatment, but Peterang only insisted even more for the duet to leave. Jethro then quickly stood up and grabbed his colleague's waist, heading outside with a new risky idea in mind, taking Forsingle a bit away from the place.

— _Don't…_ don't shoot, Forsingle told his colleagues as he gasped for breath, Peterang finally entering the car with his wife, he still has his bomb jacket... Don't worry, Agent Gibbs, as soon as he's… Hey, Gibbs…where the hell are you going !

— _GIBBS !_ Ziva called him in turn from her other spot, trying to run after him.

Jethro entered the parking lot under the hotel and rushed to the opposite exit, definitely uncertain of what he could really do without a car, but ready to take any chance he could. He reflexively started touching his hip, realizing his gun was still upstairs, before a car brusquely stopped next to him. _His_ car.

— I felt you'd think about going the other way, boss, Tony smiled.

— _Dinozzo, get out_ , Gibbs neutrally ordered, opening the door.

Tony thought about protesting, but he knew deep down it wasn't the moment, so when Ziva arrived in the middle of the car park, he only raised two shoulders and worriedly wondered what would happen next…

\- - - - - - - - - -

… _lights…a woman…a woman being thrown out of the car…or leaving it all by herself…it was too complicated to remember…why was it so complicated, by the way ?_

— _Boss…?_

 _Tony…Tony was here…well, that was hurting…the shock…and…_

— _Boss, what were you thinking…!_

— _A feeling…_

— _Yeah, right…_

— _Is he…_

— No, he's not, boss…but we got him, the voice became clearer.

— Go...tell Tim, Gibbs slowly pronounced, taking off his new oxygen mask for a second.

— _Go, Tony_ , Ziva immediately said. I'll go with him to the hospital.

— Okay, boss, he reluctantly agreed, running to his own car, the crowd getting bigger and bigger around the recent accident. Ducky ? he finally spoke after grabbing his phone.

— _Yes, Tony…speaker is on._

— We got him, McGee. It's over.

Both men deeply sighed on the other side, Tim feeling his skin turning pale and red, the news of his parent's murderer arrest burning his heart in both comforting and devastating ways…

— I need…I think I need to freshen up a little, Ducky...if you will excuse me for a second…Tim said with difficulty, calmly shocked by the revelation.

— Of course, Timothy...do you need anything ? Maybe a glass of water ?

— It's alright, Ducky, Tim added before walking to the bathroom.

— Good heavens…Dr Mallard deeply breathed out, speaking to Tony again. So this is really over, right ?

— _For real, Ducky. But we'll get through the details tomorrow, I think what we need for now is to be here for McGee. I'll be here soon._

— We're waiting for you, then…Dr Mallard sighed and pressed his forehead against his palm, before starting boiling some water.

 _Yes. Tea would be good for everyone…_

 _Five minutes later…_

— Ducky ? You're here ?

— _In the kitchen, Tony !_

— McGee's in here too ?

— He must be in the bathroom, now, Ducky tried to smile.

— How is he ? You know, I wanted to talk him face to face, but...I guessed he deserved to have the news first.

— Well, he's pretty shocked, as expected, but you are right, I think it would be good if you two could talk a little between friends, now that justice is about to be done.

Tony nodded and then nervously headed to the bathroom, knocking on the door with hesitation.

— McGee, you're in here ? It's Tony… _I'm…_ he deeply sighed _,_ I'm very sorry about…

 _No sound..._

— McGee ? Tony asked and paused another time. McGee, open the door, please...he suddenly added, feeling that something might be wrong. _McGee ?_ the terror finally took control of his whole body, Tony raising a foot in the door's direction. _Oh, damn it…_ he renounced to speak again, using now violence in order to get the truth...

The old rectangle invited the agent to enter after the bad hit it just had received, and revealed another agent on the floor... Tony noticed the open cylinder of painkillers and the still body next to it.

— _No, no, no, no, no…_ he started to panick. McGee, wake up ! Tony quickly tried slapping Tim's cheeks, dialing 911 on his phone...


	30. The End

— _Come on, probie…_ Tony whispered near the door, eyes still focused on the pale, immobile body.

Tony rubbed his face with desperation, tiredness warming his cheeks the same way than days ago, when he had cried in Gibbs' arms…and at this time Tim hadn't even tried anything…

 _Gibbs._ He might be here too. Where was he ?

— _Focus, Dinozzo…_ he calmly spoke to himself for the second time, trying to get rid of any sign of weakness.

 _Gibbs would certainly appreciate…_

— _Boss_ , he sightly jumped when he saw him coming, a woman pushing his wheelchair to the inside of the room.

— I'm okay now, he neutrally said.

Tony didn't say anything but seemed surprised by the tone in Gibbs' voice. If picturing him in a wheelchair was something he had never thought about, it was even stranger to see him being quite nice to someone giving him such a help.

— How are you, Dinozzo ? Ziva told me about what happened.

— How I am ? How are _you_? Tony immediately changed the question, Gibbs visibly hurt on different body parts. Ziva came earlier after I explained her the situation, but I thought she would wait before talking to you…

— You don't have to go through this alone, Tony…

— Yeah, he sadly chuckled. What difference would it make, uh ? he asked, staring again at Tim's pale body.

— _Breathe, Dinozzo..._

But Tony reflexively begun rubbing his neck, probably in order to hide his anguish. These damn tears…they were trying to come back.

— This is a mess, boss. A whole damn mess. First I thought I had lost you because you decided to hit the car of a guy with a bomb, then McGee has decided to…

— _Hey._

A hand on his shoulder. Gibbs had finally stood up.

— No, boss. This is not gonna happen. Not again. I will not let these feelings win again... _Rib ?_ he changed the conversation subject, Gibbs nodding as an answer. _What_ , he smiled, you're trying to imitate McGee ?

Jethro only chuckled and slowly approached the hospital bed, pushing his arm onto the chair back.

— It's not gonna kill you to sit down, boss. If I can have a breakdown in that ugly room, you can accept the help of a seat, Tony ironically said.

— Okay.

Gibbs sat down and let Tony wait near the door, his agent lying against the wall as if he was ready to escape, if necessary. _Maybe Tim would never open his eyes again…_

 _And if he would, who could say he would remain the same ? Aftereffects were always to be expected…_

The duet waited together in the deepest silence, wondering if they'd see their friend and colleague again…

— _I'm looking for my boss and Tim !_ Any idea about the rooms they're in ? Maybe they've been put in the same ? _We..._ we never know, as they are working together, maybe they've decided…

— Madam, please slow down, I have no idea of who you're talking about…

 _Abby froze for a second._

— Oh my God... _They're dead !_ This day has finally happened ! Abby exclaimed. And the both of them !

— Madam, please…

— And the last thing I complained about was my need for caffeine…I am such an _awful_ person…!

— Madam, I...

— _Abby ?_

Abby instantly turned back and opened both wide, worried eyes as she faced Ziva and Ducky, quickly followed by Mr Palmer.

— _You're all here…_ she said and raised her two palms to her mouth, _they're dead ! They're…_

— Abby ! Ziva pushed her hands against her shoulders, Gibbs _isn't_ dead ! I was with him the whole time !

— _And…_ and Tim ?

— He's not dead neither.

— _But ?_ she revealed angry eyes.

— But he's not conscious, from what I know. But Gibbs and Tony are already there for him, and the nurse didn't advised to be more than two at once, so all we can do for now is wait. Can you do that, Abby ?

She briefly nodded until a voice begun speaking.

— None of us is leaving, Abby. We're all gonna wait for the news.

— _Well said_ , Mr Palmer, Ducky commented, watching the sincere smile of the man next to him. Now why not sitting a bit over there, uh…

 _...Two more hours. And nothing._ Gibbs quickly took a look at Tony, discreetly wondering if he might invite him to sit on the second chair, but Tony couldn't help but stay where he was, arms crossed around his chest.

— So what, he's not gonna wake up ? he suddenly said. It's been a while, boss, and they did anything necessary.

— It's easier for the mind to be sleeping when you don't want to face reality, Dinozzo.

— But that's not the only reality he'll know. _We're here too._ We're part of his reality.

— I know.

— What happened yesterday ? Tony sighed.

— He let her go…

Tony slowly stared at the opposite wall. So even the most desperate man could use kindness…

— Ziva told me the bomb jacket was a fake.

— It was.

— But _how_ could you know, then ? Tony hesitated.

— I didn't.

Tony felt like he was about to suffocate for a second. This was definitely not a normal job.

— You really care about him, don't you...

— I care about all of you, Gibbs answered after a pause.

Tony discreetly smiled, perfectly knowing that Gibbs had meant everything he'd just said, and that he would not repeat it again…

 _A groan._ Tim suddenly gasped for air and opened his eyes with an exhausting movement, blurry clouds deeply confusing his mind... He nervously turned his head in numerous directions, trying to figure out where he was.

— _McGee_ , Gibbs said, you're fine, you're at the hospital.

Tony raised a hand to his mouth, visibly overwhelmed by his colleague's miraculous awakening.

— _Dinozzo_ , call the nurse, and tell the others.

Jethro watched his agent immediately leave the space and begun speaking closer to Tim, revealing a worried face.

— _What have you done, McGee…_

— I'm sorry, boss…Tim pronounced with difficulty, tired and shocked by the memories slowly coming up to his brain again.

 _He was feeling so tired..._

— Me too, Tim. I am so, _so_ sorry…

 _Two days later…_

— He's not gonna stay at the hospital, Gibbs told the nurse. He'll go with us.

The woman worriedly stared at Jethro, wondering how could this man be taking care of someone else but him. His body seemed to be broken from everywhere. Dr Mallard noticed the anger coloring Gibbs' face and immediately intervened, a kind smile on his face.

— Nice to meet you, I am Dr Mallard. I have to say that we do appreciate your uncertainty, but you have to know that the whole team is gonna be here for Agent McGee, therefore there is no need for him to stay at the hospital.

The woman nodded a bit reluctantly after a moment, but finally gave papers and instructions to the one who, she thought, might be the best to understand…

— _You're ready, probie ?_ Tony asked when Tim appeared out of his room, with new clothes.

— I guess so, he shyly smiled. _Oh_ , hi everyone, he added as he noticed the people around.

He raised a hand in order to wave at the team, but uneasiness was terribly palpable…

— Well, we see you later, then, Ducky gently smiled again, inviting Tony to follow the group to the exit, knowing that he could wait in the car and then give them some space...

Gibbs finally pushed a comforting hand on Tim's shoulder when everybody vanished from their sight, and slowly walked with him to the same direction, remaining silent the whole time they moved along the corridor, Tim visibly worried to face the outside…automatic doors opened from afar as some other patients and visitors entered and left the hospital, and both men instantly felt the windy, cold weather wrap their bodies, Tim trying to hide his chattering teeth… Jethro raised the jacket he had had between fingers the whole time, his agent staring at the clothing with a huge surprise.

— Ducky thought it might be useful when you'd go out.

Tim deeply hesitated and thought about saying something, but Gibbs didn't seem to share his yet unspoken opinion...

— Are you gonna help me, McGee ? In case you hadn't noticed, I can't move the way I want.

Tim smiled and quite reluctantly wore the jacket, now directly facing the automatic doors and the scary outside, the whole team waiting for him in different cars… Gibbs noticed the nervousness and pressed again his hand against Tim's shoulder, staring in turn at the city landscape.

— You have the family you choose to have, McGee. Don't you ever forget that.


End file.
